Lyric sheets: Martin Newell In the week the new New Romantic movement d ied prematurely...

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The Independent Culture

Stymied at the starting blocks

The Scene That Wasn't There

Sashayed from the safety of

Its London pied-a-terre

Took provincial air

Only to discover that

The public doesn't care

Earlier a journalist

Brandishing a promo

Said, "This is the latest word

And the word is Romo"

Watch the vid in slo-mo

Time to get your cheque book out

Mr Major Domo

Roxy-laden disco-glam

Futuristic pop

Skinny boys in satin

A singer who's a fop

Pert Durannie mop

With a pot-pourri like this

How could Romo flop?

But the Scene That Wasn't There

Ends in disarray

Romophobic countryfolk

Laugh and stay away

And the bands of nice young men

Only squeak and bray

For they cannot play