Lyric sheets Martin Newell Madonna gives birth to her daughter, Lola, in September. She says that she'll be seeking a traditional English nanny. Perhaps she'd like an English butler, too...

Madonna's Butler

Milady. Madonna.

You need a British butler

We're loyal, devoted

And no one can be subtler

When answering the door

To someone you abhor

Polite but not phoney

He'll say that Miss Ciccone

Is currently instructing

Her daughter with a pony

Then having tea with pater

So kindly call back later

The butler's a fellow

Relaxed yet not too mellow

Unlikely to make comment

Because one's hair is yellow

And too steeped in discretion

To publish a confession

A butler can brighten

And socially enlighten

At wilder showbiz bashes

You'll rest assured that Crichton

Will not remove his kecks

Or join the guests for sex

I heard you were in bed

I hope you're feeling better

A butler could bring you

Some Lemsip and a sweater

I therefore enclose this

With half a dozen roses

So have I got the job then?