Music: Lyric Sheets
Friday 04 December 1998
Ozzy Osbourne's Garden
The moon's a stalag searchlight
The sky's an orange glow
The lawn's lit up by lasers
Like a Sabbath stadium show
By a listed Queen Anne building
Near a former Quaker hall
A tattooed man is digging
Beside a garden wall...
And as the cheery rocker
Totes shotgun through his grounds
Some badgers run for cover
He looses off two rounds
A bat caught in the crossfire
Falls lifeless from a tree
The singer's patient missus
Shouts "Oz, d'you want yer tea?"
The heavy metal rose-grower
Finds secateurs no good
And much prefers a chainsaw
When pruning out dead wood.
Though sprays can be effective
For blackfly, Ozzy's learned
That cherry-bombs work better
Where cherries are concerned
A rock god takes up gardening
Two different worlds collide
The neighbours' dogs won't settle
The cats are terrified
The king of heavy metal
Is getting into stride.
A drum of Agent Orange
And flamethrower by his side
...Happy birthday, Ozzy
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