Music: Lyric Sheets

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People who are tired of Alanis Morissette's angst can now contact The Alanis Morissette Lyric Generator. This Internet device ( allows the user to punch in their own emotional problems and have them set to Alanis's music.

Is it a paraffin greenhouse heater?

A moped fuelled on cow excreta?

How many miles will it do to a litre?

Alanis Morissette

Is it a portable trouser-press?

A seventeenth-century birthing dress?

A Luxembourgian water cress?

Alanis Morissette

A caravan no longer sold?

A French Canadian wrestling hold?

A fridge which keeps bacteria cold?

Alanis Morissette

No. Alanis Morissette

Is like the sort of noise you get

While waiting with a wounded pet

Before arrival of the vet.

It rants, it rails, it shrieks and squeals

And while your tooth enamel peels

It tells you how fed-up it feels

Alanis Morissette

Like Joni Mitchell's spoilt niece

or something out on day-release

Too much of it, you call the police

Alanis Morissette

When fifth-form angst as poetry

Meets well-paid music therapy

You get the lot on one CD

Alanis Morissette