MUSIC: Lyric Sheets: Hamster
Friday 10 December 1999
Supposing it hadn't been Elvis
Who'd cut the Crudup cover
In July 1954
But a yodelling hamster?
And not Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee
or Little Richard on his heels
But some other hamsters?
What if Lennon and McCartney
Fingers bleeding on first guitars
in adolescent bedrooms
Had been two northern hamsters?
Supposing Townshend, Davies
Graham Gouldman, Roy Wood
hadn't penned those pop songs.
But yodelling hamsters had?
Now lets ratchet up a gear.
What if Bowie, Bolan, Ferry
Eno, Kraftwerk and Can
Had been yodelling hamsters?
And in the USA, Brian Wilson,
Phil Spector, Lou Reed, Iggy
And the New York Dolls.
All of them, yodelling hamsters.
And instead of punk rock:
The Sex Pistols, The Clash,
And the yodelling Damnsters
Leading neatly to New Romantics
Rap, Acid House, Rave, Grunge,
Brit-pop, Hardcore, Death Metal,
The whole gamut, all hamsters?
And though none of this happened.
What have we ended up with?
Precisely. A yodelling hamster.
And Sir Cliff's "Millennium Prayer".
So without any hesitation at all
Who do we want at Number One?
'At times I thought he was me'film
Review: One Direction, Fourmusic
Review: The World of Ice and Firebooks
Film More romcom than S&M
Review: The Imitation Gamefilm
Comedy...to show her mastectomy scars
TVNetflix gets cryptic
TV review A moving film showing kids too busy to enjoy their youth
Books Not even a Man Booker prize could save Richard Flanagan from a nomination
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 'Not suppost to cry': 9-year-old lists the worst things about being a boy
- 2 To help fuel their propaganda machine against the poor, our government has now decided to redefine the word 'welfare'
- 3 Woman opens professional cuddling shop – gets 10,000 customers in first week
- 4 Lana Del Rey rape video: Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking leaked footage
- 5 Kenya bus attack: Al-Shabaab militants kill 28 non-Muslims who failed to recite Koran
Lee Evans announces his retirement from comedy on The Jonathan Ross Show
Iggy Azalea responds to Eminem rape lyrics: 'I'm bored of old men threatening young women'
Beyoncé '7/11' music video: Star bounces on bed in low-fi homage to viral video
Angelina Jolie confirms retirement from acting: 'I've never been comfortable on-screen'
Lana Del Rey rape video: Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking leaked footage
Rochester by-election: Ukip gains second MP as Tory defector Mark Reckless holds seat
'Beast of Bolsover' Dennis Skinner takes Ukip MP Mark Reckless to task moments after he is sworn in
Rochester by-election: Labour MP Emily Thornberry resigns after posting white van and England flags tweet
France 'blocks' Russian sailors from boarding a warship
Revealed: How the world gets rich – from privatising British public services
Myleene Klass: Ed Miliband 'strikes back' by comparing UK's need for Labour's mansion tax to Hear'Say track