MUSIC: Lyric Sheets: Hamster
Friday 10 December 1999
Supposing it hadn't been Elvis
Who'd cut the Crudup cover
In July 1954
But a yodelling hamster?
And not Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee
or Little Richard on his heels
But some other hamsters?
What if Lennon and McCartney
Fingers bleeding on first guitars
in adolescent bedrooms
Had been two northern hamsters?
Supposing Townshend, Davies
Graham Gouldman, Roy Wood
hadn't penned those pop songs.
But yodelling hamsters had?
Now lets ratchet up a gear.
What if Bowie, Bolan, Ferry
Eno, Kraftwerk and Can
Had been yodelling hamsters?
And in the USA, Brian Wilson,
Phil Spector, Lou Reed, Iggy
And the New York Dolls.
All of them, yodelling hamsters.
And instead of punk rock:
The Sex Pistols, The Clash,
And the yodelling Damnsters
Leading neatly to New Romantics
Rap, Acid House, Rave, Grunge,
Brit-pop, Hardcore, Death Metal,
The whole gamut, all hamsters?
And though none of this happened.
What have we ended up with?
Precisely. A yodelling hamster.
And Sir Cliff's "Millennium Prayer".
So without any hesitation at all
Who do we want at Number One?
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