MUSIC: Lyric Sheets: Hamster
Friday 10 December 1999
Supposing it hadn't been Elvis
Who'd cut the Crudup cover
In July 1954
But a yodelling hamster?
And not Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee
or Little Richard on his heels
But some other hamsters?
What if Lennon and McCartney
Fingers bleeding on first guitars
in adolescent bedrooms
Had been two northern hamsters?
Supposing Townshend, Davies
Graham Gouldman, Roy Wood
hadn't penned those pop songs.
But yodelling hamsters had?
Now lets ratchet up a gear.
What if Bowie, Bolan, Ferry
Eno, Kraftwerk and Can
Had been yodelling hamsters?
And in the USA, Brian Wilson,
Phil Spector, Lou Reed, Iggy
And the New York Dolls.
All of them, yodelling hamsters.
And instead of punk rock:
The Sex Pistols, The Clash,
And the yodelling Damnsters
Leading neatly to New Romantics
Rap, Acid House, Rave, Grunge,
Brit-pop, Hardcore, Death Metal,
The whole gamut, all hamsters?
And though none of this happened.
What have we ended up with?
Precisely. A yodelling hamster.
And Sir Cliff's "Millennium Prayer".
So without any hesitation at all
Who do we want at Number One?
Review: Of Mice and Men
By opportunistic local hoping to exhibit the work
Fans will be hoping the role finally wins him an Oscar
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The actor has confessed to his own insecurities
Allotments are the focus of a new reality show
Arts & Ents blogs
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Scottish independence: It is the English who should be on their knees, begging the Scots to vote ‘No’
'Sinful': Video of British Muslims dancing to Pharrell Williams's hit Happy comes under attack
Nigel Farage: I’m taking on the status quo, and the Establishment’s fighting back
An open letter to Nigel Farage: you may smile, but I am not seduced
Abdullah Deghayes: My son was the martyr of a just cause, says father of British teenager killed in Syria conflict
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