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Music Lyric Sheets: The Perks of the Job

Tories are calling for a probe into the gift of 12 tickets for Brown's nightclub that were given to Janet Anderson, the government minister responsible for pop music

For those who grew up going to gigs

And blagging into various ligs

The Minister for Pop's correct

No case to answer, in effect.

There's really nothing to discuss

Why would it come as news to us?

What fuels the music business bus

Is four parts favours/ one part suss

Not what you know

But whom you know

Whose palms you greased

A week ago.

What deals you did

Which costs you hid

How high up on the pyramid

You sit to watch the ants below

Is all about portfolio.

When DJs spin their self-made hits

And teen sensations come in kits

No use to call them hypocrites

If punters love the songs to bits

Our greatest bands, their finest stuff

Was hyped on packaging and puff

Freebies, handshakes, bog-floor deals

Extended lunches, nasal meals.

What morals might have gone amiss

If ministers mucked in with this?

Whose ethics would be compromised?

Which currency destabilised?

It's nepotism? Golly gee.

What? Here? Within our industry?

Corruption, yes, but spread about

So equally, it cancels out.

The Tories claim this sleaze is wrong.

Good morning, sir.

Been up for long?