"...Yeah like, before we made this one
We prayed a lot, of course we did
And while the bloke retuned the grand
I broke bread with the backing band
And since the theme's traditional,
The A&R man quietly said,
`Forget about the studio tricks
He wants those harps up in the mix'.
At first the guys were skeptical
It stank of Deus ex machina.
The bass-player threw a little fit
And wanted to redo his bit.
We had to move the choir around
The chancel had a `live room' sound.
But tapestries around the wall
Had made it more like `village hall'.
I sent the Papal Legate out
With DAT machine to sample stuff
And screens held up by altar boys
To try and damp the background noise
The good thing with this album is
We've learnt at last that `less-is-more'
Too many churchmen these days think
You've got to have the kitchen sink
But could they take it on the road
With what... a choir? A five-piece band?
When I was starting, in my teens
We just made do with tambourines.
And if, as often happened then
The Guv said, `I can't hear a single'.
He made the congregation sing
You couldn't just remix the thing
And look, I know it's boring but
The stadium ballad has to stay
It keeps the punters hanging there
Like ad captandum vulgas* yeah?"
*to appeal to the crowdReuse content