Fantasy band: Neil Hannon, The Duckworth Lewis Method
'I settled on Nile Rodgers; he's the coolest man alive, really...'
Ralf and Florian, the two founders, never played the drums, but I do love the bits in old Tomorrow's World footage where the other two were just sort of tapping bits of tin foil with strange styluses. I want the other two in this.
Bass: Kim Deal
I guess this is in reference to my teenage lustful years. I was in awe of Kim and her playing with the Pixies. I guess the melodic element came later with The Breeders. I know she's left the Pixies again now, but I never got to see them on their revival – so it doesn't make much difference to me. I'll always have my memories.
Guitar: Nile Rodgers
I thought about Jonny Greenwood or various people who are more into guitar pyrotechnics, but I settled on Mr Rodgers because he's a songwriter and the coolest man alive, really.
Keyboards: Maurice Ravel
He wrote some fabulous piano music. He had jazz chords in there, too, quite early on, before other composers had cottoned on to it in the Twenties – so he was very ahead of his time.
Vocals: Marlene Dietrich
She couldn't really sing, but she had an amazing presence and confidence. I've just realised there's quite a heavy German influence in this band, which was a bit of an accident!
The Duckworth Lewis Method's new album, Sticky Wickets, is out now. They tour the UK from 20 September.
'At times I thought he was me'film
Review: One Direction, Fourmusic
Review: The World of Ice and Firebooks
Film More romcom than S&M
Review: The Imitation Gamefilm
Comedy...to show her mastectomy scars
TVNetflix gets cryptic
TV review A moving film showing kids too busy to enjoy their youth
Books Not even a Man Booker prize could save Richard Flanagan from a nomination
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Universities aren't working us hard enough, say undergraduates
- 2 Lego letter from the 1970s still offers a powerful message to parents 40 years later
- 3 To help fuel their propaganda machine against the poor, our government has now decided to redefine the word 'welfare'
- 4 Woman opens professional cuddling shop – gets 10,000 customers in first week
- 5 Grayson Perry: London needs affordable housing because 'rich people don't create culture'
Strictly Come Dancing results: Steve Backshall and Ola Jordan sent home
Iggy Azalea responds to Eminem rape lyrics: 'I'm bored of old men threatening young women'
Beyonce '7/11' music video: Star bounces on bed and films daughter Blue Ivy in lo-fi homage to viral video
Why are the words 'mongol', 'mongoloid' and 'mongy' still bandied about as insults?
Tom DeLonge compares streaming music to killing elephants
Rochester by-election: Ukip gains second MP as Tory defector Mark Reckless holds seat
'Beast of Bolsover' Dennis Skinner takes Ukip MP Mark Reckless to task moments after he is sworn in
Rochester by-election: Labour MP Emily Thornberry resigns after posting white van and England flags tweet
France 'blocks' Russian sailors from boarding a warship
Rochester aftermath: Sacking of Emily Thornberry will make work of Labour MPs '10 times harder'
Exclusive: UK approved £7m Israeli arms sales in six months before Gaza conflict