We did worst rhyming couplets last year, but recently I had a nostalgic Spotify session rediscovering Squeeze, which reminded me of the genius of Chris Difford's lyrics. A lot of nominations this week, but I was looking for more than 'clever lines in a song I like that also rhyme'...
1. 'You told me love was too plebeian/ Told me you were through with me and…'
Arthur Hamilton, "Cry Me a River", sung most memorably by Julie London. From Solly and Ben Ross.
2. 'My pulse will be quickenin'/ With each drop of strychnine/ We feed to a pigeon/ It just takes a smidgen'
Tom Lehrer, "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park", from Francis Wheen.
3. 'I saw two shooting stars last night/ I wished on them but they were only satellites'
Billy Bragg, "A New England". Issy Flamel and Anthony Wells.
4. 'Shetland pony/ Extra pepperoni'
Motorhead, "Eat the Rich", from Martyn Jackson.
5. 'Tempted by the fruit of another/ Tempted, but the truth is discovered'
Squeeze, "Tempted". Unusual whole-phrase rhyme.
6. 'People laughed and called it folly/ But we connected like a Yeboah volley'
Los Campesinos, "Glue Me", from Tim Miller.
7. 'Was it a millionaire who said "Imagine no possessions"?/ A poor little schoolboy who said "We don't need no lessons"?'
Elvis Costello, "The Other Side of Summer", from Richard T Kelly.
8. 'Richard got married to a figure skater/ And he bought her a dishwasher and a coffee percolator'
Joni Mitchell, "The Last Time I Saw Richard", from Donald Macintyre.
9. 'She said she'd seen a doctor/ And nothing now could stop her'
Squeeze, "Up the Junction", from Lesley Smith.
10. 'If I rhyme about home and got descriptive/ I'd make 50 Cent look like Limp Bizkit'
K'naan, Somalian rapper, from Ian Birrell.
Next week: Underrated family films (such as 'Atlantis: The Lost Empire')
Coming soon: Recurring news stories (such as 'Leaked details of new "Star Wars" film anger fans'). Send ideas for future Top 10s, to email@example.comReuse content