MUSIC / Lyric Sheets:The Landlord That Time Forgot
Thursday 26 August 1993
Oft re-used and in supply
Regulars would chortle at them
None of them remembered why
Served in evenings, clad in blazer
Food . . . 'Untouched by human hand
Wife has cooked it. Ha ha, geddit?
All except the greens - they're canned'
Music? Yes quite fond of music
Said he liked that Scottish band
Very celtic, liked the rhythm
Simple Minds? 'No Jimmy Shand'
Claimed the Sixties caused the problem
Sex and drugs and all that jive
Blamed those intellectual beatniks
Singling out the Dave Clark Five
'That's not music - not to my mind
Frankly it's a bloody noise
Got no tune - you can't enjoy it
Hard to tell the girls from boys
Shower of shit this generation
Sell their mums for half a crown
If we had another war now
Most of them would just lie down
Lager? Only keep the one on
No room for a cooler-shelf
Wife drinks one for indigestion
Wouldn't touch the stuff myself
Yes sir, can I do you now sir?
Just like that] What would you like?
I resemble that remark sir]
I'm in charge] Whoops - mind my bike]'
Welcome to Jurassic Pub
The pies are cold, the lager's hot
The handlebar moustache of Satan
On the landlord time forgot
(But he never forgot Time)
Music Why this music festival is still the place to spot the next big thing
Film review Michael Glatze biopic isn't about a self-hating gay man gone straight
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 East 17 bandmember Brian Harvey in 'very desperate situation’
- 2 Yorkshire man to win £10,000 off a £1 bet placed six years ago if Dan Jarvis becomes Labour Party leader
- 3 Vladimir Putin says Russia will fight for the right of Palestinians to their own state
- 4 Woman filmed launching racist tirade against men on the Tube for speaking in 'own lingo'
- 5 The West has it totally wrong on Lee Kuan Yew
Cassetteboy joins forces with Russell Brand for Emperor's New Clothes film
Poldark, TV review: Demelza’s insouciance is almost as impressive as Ross’ pecs
Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear: Former Stig Ben Collins says show 'will always continue' with or without suspended host
Fifty Shades of Grey movie shows first sex scene 'after 40 minutes'
James May hints he will not continue on Top Gear without Jeremy Clarkson
Ukip supporters are 55 or older, white and socially conservative, finds British Social Attitudes Report
JK Rowling responds to fan tweeting she 'can't see' Dumbledore being gay
Jeremy Clarkson sacked live: Alan Yentob 'wouldn't rule out' ex Top Gear host's BBC return
David Cameron calls Labour 'hopeless, sneering socialists' while announcing 7-day NHS plans
The West has it totally wrong on Lee Kuan Yew
Revealed: Putin's army of pro-Kremlin bloggers