Eurovision Song Contest: The UK contenders for 2017 are all failed X Factor hopefuls

There's also a running theme of sickly-sweet 'save the world with love' type ballads

Sweden perform in the 2015 Eurovision Song Contest (Getty)

If Britain wasn't already the laughing stock of Europe then this should do it.

The UK's Eurovision contenders have been revealed and they are all failed X Factor auditions.

There's also a running theme of sickly-sweet, 'save the world with love'-type ballads - most of the entries from Eurovision from all countries sound as though they were written 40 years ago, but couldn't we have at least tried to update the sound a bit?

There are six hopefuls this year and they'll be performing on Eurovision: You Decide! where the public gets to pick the act to represent the UK at Kyiv in May.

You'd think this would be a breeze given that last year's entry Joe and Jake crashed in at 24th place in Stockholm with 'You're Not Alone' last year, but this new batch looks equally lacklustre.

Here's a run-through of the contenders you'll be able to vote for:

1) Olivia Garcia - 'Freedom Hearts'

Former X Factor contestant No.1: Olivia is 16 so I'm not going to be too nasty.

It's an ambitious ballad that doesn't really say anything and will likely involve some kind of blue-sky backdrop and footage of a herd of horses for the live show.

She has a decent voice but it's nothing special - you couldn't pick her out of a line-up of other ballad-singing female X Factor auditions if you tried.

2) Holly Brewer - 'I Wish I Loved You More'

Former X Factor contestant No.2: This one shows a bit more promise in the sense that it's a song the Spice Girls might have sung in the 90s but rejected it because it wasn't good enough.

Holly sang at the wedding of TOWIE's Mark Wright and Michelle Keegan (famous musical taste-makers) and supported Jess Glynne on tour in 2016.

3) Lucie Jones - 'Never Give Up On You'

Former X Factor contestant No. 3: Right, so I genuinely can't tell the difference between Lucie Jones and Holly Brewer - this is an equally naff piano ballad that would require Lucie standing still and trying her best to pour emotion into the song, which just doesn't match up to a Belarus rock star singing naked to a pack of wolves.

4) Danyl Johnson - 'Light Up The World'

Former X Factor contestant No. 4: At a guess this is the fifth time we'd have a song with this title at Eurovision. It's fuelled by a drab club beat and lame lyrics - how many times as 'light' been used as a vague metaphor for self-worth or achieving your dreams or something equally cheesy? - and production is equally terrible.

5) Salena Mastroianni - 'I Don't Wanna Fight'

Former X Factor contestant No. 5: Salena is singing about world peace to a very upbeat, Europop tune which often goes down well at Eurovision - hopefully the audience will be too busy dancing to notice Salena try to cram an extra syllable into that chorus line - seriously, who writes these lyrics?

6) Nate Simpson - 'What Are We Made Of'

Former X Factor contestant No. 6: Oh look, this guy has a hat so he must be good. Enough with the piano ballads already.

Eurovision: You Decide airs on BBC2 on Friday at 7.30pm