Wanted: amazingly talented guitarist with GSOH is looking for a band for gigs, albums, but no charity work.
Fans who were dismayed this year when Noel Gallagher vowed not to release another Oasis album for five years should prepare themselves for some more bad news.
The Oasis guitarist has told an Italian newspaper that he would like to join another band, "play the guitar and not have to worry about singing or writing songs". He also reckons he spent £1m on drugs during the first few years of the band's success, and doesn't regret a penny. He stopped in 1998 apparently because "it is bad for your health, brain, life and people around you".
And contrary to what he recently told a British newspaper, he does not want to record a solo album, and it might well be longer than five years before Oasis head back into the studio.
Neither age nor fatherhood seems to have mellowed the 42-year-old, who appears to have been on top form when he was interviewed by Corriere della Sera.
The Oasis guitarist labelled his old foe Chris Martin, from the band Coldplay, a clean-living "idiot" and slated him, and the U2 front man Bono for mixing rock and roll with politics.
"I look at Chris Martin, who says he has never taken drugs in his life, and I think he's an idiot. Doing drugs is the most beautiful thing about being in a rock band," said Gallagher.
Never one to shy away from controversy, he had plenty to say about the upsurge in poverty concerts. "At a U2 or Coldplay concert there is always a message about poor people or people dying of hunger. OK, but can't we just have a nice evening? Do we always have to feel guilty?"
The songwriter has not lost his way with words but is clearly struggling to find the satisfaction he felt in the band's early years. Critics would argue that he and the band have also struggled musically and have failed to come anywhere near the creative highs of their first two albums Definitely Maybe in 1994 and (What's the Story) Morning Glory in 1995.
Asked about the reported five-year break for Oasis, he said: "[Five] was just a number. I could have said 10, but Oasis won't break up. It's just that at the moment I can't see what more we can do. Bigger tours? More money? I need something different to maintain my interest... My ideal would be to join another band."
Formerly one of New Labour's most famous supporters – he drank champagne and talked guitars with Tony Blair – he said that he was disillusioned with politics and there were unlikely to be more nights out at No 10. He no longer votes.
"As time passed they [New Labour] became like the others. It was like you find out Father Christmas doesn't exist."