When a thousand teenage girls went wild at the Royal Festival Hall in London last week for the Jonas Brothers, the obvious question was what fantasies were their yells meant to signify?
The sons of an evangelical preacher, these three teenage boys do not drink, smoke or take drugs. Each wears a silver ring on his left hand symbolising the desire – if that's not the wrong word – to stay a virgin.
Russell Brand made a big mistake when hosting the MTV music awards last Monday, by joking that he'd "won" – you can guess how – one of the rings backstage. This seemed to be taken as an insult to the American way, so fierce was the backlash.
The appeal of the Jonas Brothers, who have sold millions of records and last week launched their Disney movie Camp Rock, is based on being goodlooking, harmonious and about as virtuous as a young American can be. Kevin, 20, Joe, 19, and Nick, 15, don't look as if they're about to admit to a single impure thought. But they're also the sorts of boys Sarah Palin and her fellow "gun-toting Christian moms" would like their girls to meet. No danger of teen pregnancy with them.
So what do those screams mean? It must just be that wailing at the top of her voice is the way a nice modern girl from the Home Counties tells her favourite pop poppet she'd really like to give him a good... cup of tea.