Your guide to the JLS split (don’t cry, the break-up tour starts soon!)
The band will complete an arena tour (and release a Greatest Hits album, natch) at the end of the year and then it’s all over. Which begs the question, who will be the breakout solo star? Today all four members started their very own personal Twitter accounts. By the time of going to press Aston had the most followers and JB the fewest. Like Justin Timberlake, Aston is famed for his dance moves and gets most of the female attention. Sadly it looks like JB is destined to be the Chris Kirkpatrick of the group (you might have to look him up).
While there were tears and tributes, there were also predictable nods of derision with some none-too-kind people pointing out on social networks that the band’s last single only managed to reach number 112. Variations on a joke about the band’s condom range hopefully not splitting like the band filled everyone’s Twitter feeds. Then, later, the ultimate humiliation: a spokesperson for the Samaritans was forced to put out a statement saying that they “were not expecting” an increase in phone traffic and that a special hotline would not be set up. Awkward.
You know those guys who walk around in baggy pants tucked into army boots? You can blame JLS for that look. And those chunky knit cardigans done all the way up the front? Yep, JLS’s fault too. But their enduring fashion legacy will no doubt be their services to the deep V neck tee-shirt which the band sometimes used to have so low you could see their belly buttons. Some swooned, most cringed. And far too many men attempted to recreate the look. Farewell, man cleavage. You shall not be missed.
Making fun of a pop band’s lyrical limitations might seem a little unfair but JLS excelled in the art of the terrible lyric.
“If I died, yeah, would you come to my funeral? Would you cry?” “Beat Again”, 2009
“You could be the DJ/ I could be the dance floor”. “The Club is Alive”, 2010
“Got me looking forward to you like a Saturday”. “Eyes Wide Shut”, 2011
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