NET GAINS: Making the most of a cat scan
Saturday 19 September 1998
Congratulations to Kyle, winner of the Internet's first Cat Scan contest. The rules were simple: entrants must place their moggies on a flatbed scanner and email the results. The winner managed to get two moggies onto the scanner, and in case you're worried, the site's owner assures us that entries will be disqualified "if the cat looks like it is in serious pain. If you have to hurt the cat to scan it, your entry will not be allowed," he says. "I love cats, I just believe that a scanned cat is hilarious." He also includes a picture of his own rather satisfied looking cat sitting happily atop a scanner, just to prove you don't have to scar your cat psychologically in order to get that picture.
The winner was decided on the basis of five criteria:
* Style: Does the cat's hair make an interesting pattern?
* Cat beauty: Is this an attractive feline, or a fat, dirty old bag of fleas?
* Form: Does the cat's squashed body look like a pear, or a pile of dough?
* Positioning: Can you see the cat's face or paws?
* Consistency: Did the cat squirm much? Full-body scans have a better chance of victory.
Clinton's sexual scandal rebutted
US President Bill Clinton's web page does not dodge the issue. It includes transcripts of all the President's recent speeches and his office's official rebuttal of the Kenneth Starr report. Whether anyone ploughs through these documents is anybody's guess, but at least it leaves the democratic decision up to the individual.
I had a grudging hope last weekend that the release of the Kenneth Starr report on US President Bill Clinton would push the Internet to total collapse. The sites - which were due to place the report online - were unaccessable for hours before the report was issued. If anybody, like me, tried to log onto Congress's website over the evening of the 11 September, you would have found it impossible.
Everybody was having the same problem, it seemed. At 7.30pm - half an hour after the report was released - the report had not been posted on CNN's website, although it was promising it as soon as possible.
The entire event proved an interesting insight into the world wide web's cruel limitations. It may be excellent for bypassing the usual controlled channels of communication, but when its big day came for disseminating a lot of information very quickly to a lot of people it proved to be hopelessly inadequate for the job.
A Starr report
TVJamie's Sugar Rush reveal's campaigning chef's new foe
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 What marriage would look like if we actually followed the Bible
- 2 If these extraordinarily powerful images of a dead Syrian child washed up on a beach don't change Europe's attitude to refugees, what will?
- 3 The Chinese city where men have 'three girlfriends because there are so many women'
- 4 'Heartbreaking' Syria orphan photo wasn't taken in Syria and not of orphan
- 5 Orthorexia nervosa: How becoming obsessed with healthy eating can lead to malnutrition
Three million books were judged by their covers - this is what happened
The Gamechangers trailer: Daniel Radcliffe stars in GTA movie
Joan Aiken: Today's Google Doodle celebrates life of British fantasy novelist
Photographer captures the beauty and intensity of his girlfriend giving birth at home
Jamie’s Sugar Rush, TV review: Defeated by school dinners, Oliver takes on a new enemy
Britain to take more refugees as Cameron bows to pressure after more than 250,000 back our campaign
Senior British politicians tell David Cameron: When dead children are being washed up on beaches – it's time to act
Jeremy Corbyn calls Osama bin Laden's killing a 'tragedy' - but was it taken out of context?
If these extraordinarily powerful images of a dead Syrian child washed up on a beach don't change Europe's attitude to refugees, what will?
If you're not already angry about the refugee crisis, here's a history lesson to remind you why you really should be
Make your voice heard: Sign The Independent's petition to welcome refugees