On the floor: Why it's no fun being a smart girl
on the floor
Wednesday 03 June 1998
I suspect her obsession with the City's ludicrously unreconstructed dress codes for women is closely related to her addiction to extremely fine and hugely expensive hosiery. It seems that a former, very generous, boyfriend used to shower her with whisper-thin confections from Fogal, and though she was able to wean herself off the man well enough, it turns out she's unable to drop the tights, so to speak. So while the rest of us curse and head for M&S when we get a run in our stockings, she has to make a special trip to Knightsbridge and shell out the price of a good dinner. If she could wear trousers, it would cut her clothes bill in half.
I must confess that even after a week of pondering, I'm still puzzled by this unspoken ban on trousers. Laura and I have considered every possibility: can put hand up woman's skirt; no stockings and suspenders under trousers; would wear flats instead of those sexy spindly high heels.
On the other hand, the boys might have realised that if Marlene and I, at least, had flat heels instead of our usual 3in, we wouldn't be able to look down on them as we do now, which would also deprive us of a great pleasure.
Be that as it may, there's no time I resent City dress codes more than when I have to go out in the evening straight from work. It's all right if I'm meeting a friend in a wine bar near the office, since everyone else is still in business clothes. But three times in the past week I've had to go to dinner parties at friends' homes without going home to change down first, and three times I've been the token suit in a room full of arty types.
Take Sasha's supper party. Sasha's mother and mine chummed up at their antenatal classes and have more or less inflicted us upon each other ever since. We've pretty much nothing in common these days: she's still at art college, as are most of her friends, studying jewellery-making or glass engraving or something equally useful, and is permanently broke. But we keep in touch, meet up from time to time, compare lifestyles, appreciate our own a little more afterwards, and if I'm going to her place I dress as artily as I can.
But on Monday I was stuck at work until gone eight, so I arrived at Sasha's late, flustered - and wearing a suit. Now, I don't think Sash or her friends have ever seen anyone their own age in a suit before, and you could tell they didn't much like it from the barrage of questions that greeted me. What time did I get up in the morning? Six? Weird. What hours did I work? Seven till seven? Too much. Did I always have to dress smartly? Yes? Freaky. I felt like a duck-billed platypus under the gaze of the first European settlers ("You mean you're a mammal, but you've got webbed feet? Urgh. Weird.").
It wasn't what you'd call the most enjoyable night of my life. Still, Sasha was incredibly apologetic the next day when I rang to say thanks for the vegetable curry. "God, sorry we were so funny with you. It's just that you look so different in those clothes, like a grown-up. Jez and Billy didn't even recognise you at first."
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
"Anyway," she went on, "why on earth did you make a point of taking Beanie's number? He was the worst of all of us. He had no right to call you a capitalist bitch."
"No," I replied. "But I'm having a supper party next week, just a few City friends. I thought Beanie might like to come along ..."
TVEnough to make ardent arachnophobes think twice
Will explain back story to fictional kingdom Westeros
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 2015 General Election: Green party will not appear in TV debate alongside Ukip – says BBC
- 2 Kentucky gang rape: 15-year-old boy left in critical condition after sexual attack by group at party
- 3 Of course, teenage girls need role models – but not like beauty vlogger Zoella
- 4 North Korean officials 'publicly executed for watching South Korean soap operas'
- 5 Muslims, immigration and teenage pregnancy: British people are ignorant about almost everything
This is what a film sex scene actually looks like on set (mostly awkward)
Cumberbacklash: Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange riles Marvel fans
Downton Abbey season 5 episode 6 - review: Thomas and Lady Edith show sad signs of the times
Halloween 2014: The scariest movies to watch on Netflix
Spider House, BBC4 - review: Enough to make ardent arachnophobes think twice
Pope Francis declares evolution and Big Bang theory are real and God is not 'a magician with a magic wand'
Huge surge in Ukip support after EU funding row, according to new poll
Ukip ‘exploiting grooming scandal’ to secure party’s first police chief
Nigel Farage: 'There’s nothing wrong with white people blacking up'
Muslims, immigration and teenage pregnancy: British people are ignorant about almost everything
Nigel Farage and Frankie Boyle clash over Andrew Lawrence's 'Mock the Week' criticism