Enter an American couple. The man has his grey hair tied back in a pony tail. The woman has a smart page boy and black pants. 'This really has a feeling of humanity.' she says. 'Those shoes feel very human.' 'Oh really?' says pony tail. 'That's interesting.'
They leave the rotating shoes to inspect two pairs of binoculars inspecting one another. A small woman with very white trainers enters, looks at the shoes, says 'Oh]', walks quickly away.
A very normal looking middle-aged woman in a black car coat with flat shoes comes in. 'This supposed to represent drunken ladies?' she asks a thin woman dressed all in black.
'The guidebook says it's a fetishistic orgy,' says the thin woman. 'Looks as if they've got into an awful mess.' says the car coat.
'I've never been to an orgy myself.' She goes to the wall and reads out a caption. 'It's called the Prussian Bride Machine.' she says. 'Still doesn't make sense, really. Prussians. They're more passionate than the English, aren't they? I danced with one once.'
Scene: the main gallery of the Tate. Two men in Tate Gallery uniforms are gazing up at the piano hung upside down from the roof, its innards hanging out.
'Hasn't been working since he left.' says one to the other. 'Half the things here aren't working' says the other. 'German engineering for you.' says the first.
Two art students, one in a black jacket and glasses, the other in jeans and a grey T shirt, are looking at a tangle of iron beds and piping.
'Very cold, innit?' says the bespectacled student. 'Something only a woman could do, definitely.' says his friend. 'It's that cold passion.'