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The Independent Culture
I'm a typical celeb painter, I've got every single device you could want - watercolours, pencils, pens, special stool, everything - and I'm completely crap at it.

Jools Holland, musician, not artist, Sunday Times ce Middlemarch is fine if I can go away and play a bus driver afterwards. People tell me I should play character parts, but I'm sure all I'd get is junkies and pervs.

Rufus Sewell, actor, Time Out ce If you go on stage and you haven't got a drum kit or someone plucking some strings, people don't take you seriously. They automatically think the Stone Roses are better than the Grid. That's freaking me out.

Phil Oakey, non-musician, and now back with the Human League, Time Out You know, there's no way I'd write about cruising down a highway. How can you get into Route 66, when you live off the M1?

Jarvis Cocker, singer with Pulp, on route-finding in rock, Observer ce In my parents' eyes `being a turn', well, it's unbecoming. I should be a lawyer. And I agree with them really.

Harry Enfield, comedian, FHM ce A young classical composer writing music that has no relevance to anyone, and is unlistenable to, qualifies for an Arts Council grant. But if a Bhangra band that fuses classi- cal, Indian and dance music went up for one, it wouldn't get in the front door.

Harvey Goldsmith, concert promoter, arguing the case for a rock Proms, Sunday Times