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Freddie Mercury and I will have some great parties . . . together in heaven.

Kenny Everett's last words, Daily Star

It affects the whole incentive for stars to come here and if the star isn't part of the package it reduces the chances of the movie being made here.

Jack Nicholson, on how tax breaks could influence the UK film industry, Guardian

Kingsley Amis never writes a novel with- out bellyaching about something. It's an awful bore.

Robertson Davies, novelist, Times

It's a travesty and interminably boring to watch some woman in a frock warbling in front of an orchestra.

Lesley Garrett, opera singer, Radio Times

I've been reading up on who I've supposedly been influenced by.

Irvine Welsh, novelist, Loaded

It is when you sit down and watch a show, and it just flashes by and then suddenly it is finished, and you have no questions. That is quality television.

Jeremy Beadle, TV presenter, Daily Telegraph

It's joke to joke to joke to joke, the movie's over. There is no plot.

Jeff Daniels, actor, on his latest film, Dumb and Dumber, Time Out