Pandora

THE SCENE: a pub, somewhere in London. Present is Pete Townshend, surrounded by a coterie of barflies and liggers. Why? Townshend is filming a promo for VH1, the cable channel for pop kids of a, ahem, certain age. The director, Jon Kane, wants a "loose conversational feel" for the spot; the drink flows freely and the cameras roll. Townshend begins reminiscing about seeing the Rolling Stones in the early Sixties. The guitarist recalls his gut reaction to watching Mick Jagger dance backstage: "It was the first time I realised that I wanted to sleep with a man." Excuse me, Mr Townshend? Kane reports: "When he said it, there was this sort of uncomfortable silence and then everyone started laughing." So, has the geriatric rock icon been smashing his guitar at both ends of the stage?

THE BBC missed a rather good story for its recent profile of Ian St John, the soccer legend who began his professional playing career at Motherwell, before going on to glory at Liverpool. As a nipper, the Saint was taken to his first football match by his doting dad at the Motherwell ground. "It was a freezing cold Saturday afternoon, and the rain was pouring down. My father contracted pleurisy the same night, it turned to pneumonia - and then a few days later, he died." Tragic.

POINT YOUR mouse at the Hungarian government's website and you'll be soothed by the Muzak-esque sounds of Dire Straits' "Sultans of Swing". Take a tour of Downing Street's virtual venue, though, and all you'll hear are the sounds of silence. Well, obviously British pop talent is pretty thin on the ground, but c'mon guys, why not an Ugly Rumours demo tape? Or, how about Dvorak's New World?

LAST WEEKEND saw the Hollywood premiere of the star Britflick, Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, where five minutes after the projector rolled, two figures were spied getting up and bailing out. The duo? Lock Stock's director, Guy Richie, and his new squeeze, Madonna. Pandora followed them to a nearby pool hall, where Richie knocked a few balls around. What the hell, Richie's seen the flick a couple of thousand times. Only, Madonna didn't want to play pool, so Richie suggested she fast-forward to the studio's lavish post-premiere party at SmashBox Studios. But so absorbed was Richie in his pool game that he'd overestimated his own film's running- time. Result: Madonna arrived at the party to find no one there. Did she stamp her Manolo Blahnik'd heel? No. She sat placidly with her distinctly edgy bodyguards for 20 minutes or so, while waiting for her man. Is this a tamer, meek'n'mild-style Madonna for the new millennium? Our Mr Richie must be quite a guy.

THE NAME Ivana Trump (pictured) has long been synonymous with literary excellence. So who better to pen a fragrant introduction to a delicate new book called Italian Men: Love & Sex? Italian stallions from Armani to Zeffirelli answer such pressing questions as: "Your sexual endowment - large, humungous or molto grosso?" The woman who put the "up" in "prenuptial" is probably better known to Pandora's readers for peddling KFC Zinger Tower Burgers. La Trump is clearly someone determined to take a bigger bite of publishing's meaty sandwich.

TWO FAMILY traditions found themselves head to head over lunch last Friday in the Lords. Tucking in his linen napkin is little Lord Archer, a fellow who's experienced a Damascene conversion to the Blairite way of modern meritocracy - since he was made a life peer, he hates hereditaries. Archer sits down at a table filled with... seven hereditaries who probe him as to his antecedents. "You're that fellah that wants to be Mayor of London, aren'tcha?" one asks. "The one who'd chuck us all out." Archer assents: "I'd lock every duke in the Tower of London." "Jeffrey," replied the Duke of Norfolk, "virtually all my ancestors have been locked in the Tower." Archer smiled, pondering, perhaps, a family tradition of his own - the reversal threatening his son, James, of the so-called Flaming Ferraris team of financiers, three of whom are under investigation for alleged irregularities.

Pandora can be contacted by

e-mail on pandora@ independent. co.uk

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment

ebooksNow available in paperback
Arts and Entertainment

ebooks
Arts and Entertainment
Feeling all at sea: Barbara's 18-year-old son came under the influence of a Canadian libertarian preacher – and she had to fight to win him back
TV review
Arts and Entertainment
Living the high life: Anne Robinson enjoys some skip-surfed soup
TV review
Arts and Entertainment

Great British Bake Off
Arts and Entertainment
Doctor Who and Missy in the Doctor Who series 8 finale

TV
Arts and Entertainment

film
Arts and Entertainment
Chvrches lead singer Lauren Mayberry in the band's new video 'Leave a Trace'

music
Arts and Entertainment

music
Arts and Entertainment
Home on the raunch: George Bisset (Aneurin Barnard), Lady Seymour Worsley (Natalie Dormer) and Richard Worsley (Shaun Evans)

TV review
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Strictly Come Dancing was watched by 6.9m viewers

Strictly
Arts and Entertainment
NWA biopic Straight Outta Compton

film
Arts and Entertainment
Natalie Dormer as Margaery Tyrell and Lena Headey as Cersei Lannister in Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones
Arts and Entertainment
New book 'The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep' by Carl-Johan Forssen Ehrlin

books
Arts and Entertainment
Calvi is not afraid of exploring the deep stuff: loneliness, anxiety, identity, reinvention
music
Arts and Entertainment
Edinburgh solo performers Neil James and Jessica Sherr
comedy
Arts and Entertainment
If a deal to buy tBeats, founded by hip-hop star Dr Dre (pictured) and music producer Jimmy Iovine went through, it would be Apple’s biggest ever acquisition

album review
Arts and Entertainment
Paloma Faith is joining The Voice as a new coach

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Dowton Abbey has been pulling in 'telly tourists', who are visiting Highclere House in Berkshire

TV
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Patriot games: Vic Reeves featured in ‘Very British Problems’
TV review
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Refugee crisis: David Cameron lowered the flag for the dead king of Saudi Arabia - will he do the same honour for little Aylan Kurdi?

    Cameron lowered the flag for the dead king of Saudi Arabia...

    But will he do the same honour for little Aylan Kurdi, asks Robert Fisk
    Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

    Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

    Humanity must be at the heart of politics, says Jeremy Corbyn
    Joe Biden's 'tease tour': Could the US Vice-President be testing the water for a presidential run?

    Joe Biden's 'tease tour'

    Could the US Vice-President be testing the water for a presidential run?
    Britain's 24-hour culture: With the 'leisured society' a distant dream we're working longer and less regular hours than ever

    Britain's 24-hour culture

    With the 'leisured society' a distant dream we're working longer and less regular hours than ever
    Diplomacy board game: Treachery is the way to win - which makes it just like the real thing

    The addictive nature of Diplomacy

    Bullying, betrayal, aggression – it may be just a board game, but the family that plays Diplomacy may never look at each other in the same way again
    Lady Chatterley's Lover: Racy underwear for fans of DH Lawrence's equally racy tome

    Fashion: Ooh, Lady Chatterley!

    Take inspiration from DH Lawrence's racy tome with equally racy underwear
    8 best children's clocks

    Tick-tock: 8 best children's clocks

    Whether you’re teaching them to tell the time or putting the finishing touches to a nursery, there’s a ticker for that
    Charlie Austin: Queens Park Rangers striker says ‘If the move is not right, I’m not going’

    Charlie Austin: ‘If the move is not right, I’m not going’

    After hitting 18 goals in the Premier League last season, the QPR striker was the great non-deal of transfer deadline day. But he says he'd preferred another shot at promotion
    Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

    How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

    Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
    Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

    'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

    In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
    Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

    The Arab Spring reversed

    Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
    King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

    Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

    Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
    Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

    Who is Oliver Bonas?

    It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
    Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

    Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

    However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
    60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

    60 years of Scalextric

    Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones