Friday 19 March 1999
ALLEGED ARTIST Martin Creed, a friend of Damien Hirst, has got up the noses of the good citizens of London's Clapton. The conceptual Creed plans to tart up a Grade II listed building with a neon sign proclaiming "Everything is going to be alright". Oh no it's not, say residents of Linscott Road, home of the Portico, the 18th-century house in the eye of this particular cyclone. Apparently the local worthies feel Creed's project's disrespectful. One suggested nobbling the illumination, so it reads "eVERY THINg is gOiNg to be AlRighT".
FOLLOWING PANDORA'S revelations about Gordon Ramsay's unhygienic kitchen practices, it seems Kensington & Chelsea environmental health officers have become interested in the Truffle Thief's den. "We will be visiting the restaurant by the end of this week," one confirmed
LAST WORD on St Paddy's Day shenanigans: when the Irish opened their new Beijing embassy on their national day a couple of years ago, an aide placed some shamrocks in a cut-glass bowl of Waterford Crystal in the new embassy lobby. The ambassador was peeved to subsequently see the shamrocks had vanished. Then he noticed his Chinese guests picking green detritus from their teeth...
IT'S TAKEN them 20 years but Starsky & Hutch trio David Soul, Paul Michael Glaser and Antonio "Huggy Bear" Fargas will finally sit down in the same room together - in London's Brixton next week. Glaser, who's carved out a successful career as a TV director in LA, is waving the flag to support his sometime co-stars' show Alive in the Fridge, a theatre-music type event, playing sporadically at (surprise!) The Fridge from 24 March until 8 April. This reunion may be bilious Seventies nostalgia - but at least it's pukka bilious Seventies nostalgia.
WHICH IS more than can be said for ITV's hideously lame pseudo-Seventies sitcom Days Like These. If its cretinous creators thought that anyone during the Seventies used phrases like "sorted" and "I'm there for you" they not only weren't there themselves, they're not all here either.
SOMEONE WHO'S not just here and there but everywhere is Robin Cook. If it isn't one thing (private life, smear campaigns) it's another - like this. A broadcast hack calling the Cookie Monster this week for a comment was told, "No, you can't speak to him, he's too busy running the country." Which country would that be then? Kosovo? Sierra Leone? Or is there something our Number One Guy isn't telling us?
WINNER OF Pandora's saucer of milk this week is the feline e-zine Chic Happens. It assigned a reporter to cover Miuccia Prada's Miu Miu show in Milan. The run-of-show notes consisted, in their entirety, of a four- line poem by quondam Hollywood movie director Tim Burton:
Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
He liked her a lot,
He liked her cute figure,
He thought she was hot.
CH's scribe responded:
I tried on the outfit
It burst at the seams
Thanks anyway Miu Miu
I'll stick to my jeans. Miaow!
Contact Pandora by e-mail: pandora@ independent.co.uk
Arts & Ents blogs
Katie Hopkins continues campaign to become Britain's most hated talking head with poorly timed Bob Crow tweet
No EU referendum under Labour: Ed Miliband to reveal that vote on membership is ‘unlikely’ in next Parliament if party wins power
Grace Dent: Who cares if she spells it Barraco Barner? Gemma Worrall is more employable than some bookish arts graduate
Ukraine crisis: Russia pledges to 'retaliate against sanctions' as Ukrainian president says Crimea vote will not be recognised
The quiet diplomat: Catherine Ashton - recognised and admired in all the world’s troubled countries, yet ridiculed at home
Fracking is turning the US into a bigger oil producer than Saudi Arabia
- 1 Hells of residence: Inside Macedonia's horrifying student accommodation - where the walls are green and the food is black
- 2 Boy George: Bad karma
- 3 Rachel Canning: US teenager returns home after she tried to sue her parents for child support
- 4 First Kiss video: Filmmaker gets 20 strangers to make out on YouTube with awkward results
- 5 Rampaging elephant smashes up house but then 'saves crying baby trapped under debris'