Friday 19 March 1999
ALLEGED ARTIST Martin Creed, a friend of Damien Hirst, has got up the noses of the good citizens of London's Clapton. The conceptual Creed plans to tart up a Grade II listed building with a neon sign proclaiming "Everything is going to be alright". Oh no it's not, say residents of Linscott Road, home of the Portico, the 18th-century house in the eye of this particular cyclone. Apparently the local worthies feel Creed's project's disrespectful. One suggested nobbling the illumination, so it reads "eVERY THINg is gOiNg to be AlRighT".
FOLLOWING PANDORA'S revelations about Gordon Ramsay's unhygienic kitchen practices, it seems Kensington & Chelsea environmental health officers have become interested in the Truffle Thief's den. "We will be visiting the restaurant by the end of this week," one confirmed
LAST WORD on St Paddy's Day shenanigans: when the Irish opened their new Beijing embassy on their national day a couple of years ago, an aide placed some shamrocks in a cut-glass bowl of Waterford Crystal in the new embassy lobby. The ambassador was peeved to subsequently see the shamrocks had vanished. Then he noticed his Chinese guests picking green detritus from their teeth...
IT'S TAKEN them 20 years but Starsky & Hutch trio David Soul, Paul Michael Glaser and Antonio "Huggy Bear" Fargas will finally sit down in the same room together - in London's Brixton next week. Glaser, who's carved out a successful career as a TV director in LA, is waving the flag to support his sometime co-stars' show Alive in the Fridge, a theatre-music type event, playing sporadically at (surprise!) The Fridge from 24 March until 8 April. This reunion may be bilious Seventies nostalgia - but at least it's pukka bilious Seventies nostalgia.
WHICH IS more than can be said for ITV's hideously lame pseudo-Seventies sitcom Days Like These. If its cretinous creators thought that anyone during the Seventies used phrases like "sorted" and "I'm there for you" they not only weren't there themselves, they're not all here either.
SOMEONE WHO'S not just here and there but everywhere is Robin Cook. If it isn't one thing (private life, smear campaigns) it's another - like this. A broadcast hack calling the Cookie Monster this week for a comment was told, "No, you can't speak to him, he's too busy running the country." Which country would that be then? Kosovo? Sierra Leone? Or is there something our Number One Guy isn't telling us?
WINNER OF Pandora's saucer of milk this week is the feline e-zine Chic Happens. It assigned a reporter to cover Miuccia Prada's Miu Miu show in Milan. The run-of-show notes consisted, in their entirety, of a four- line poem by quondam Hollywood movie director Tim Burton:
Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
He liked her a lot,
He liked her cute figure,
He thought she was hot.
CH's scribe responded:
I tried on the outfit
It burst at the seams
Thanks anyway Miu Miu
I'll stick to my jeans. Miaow!
Contact Pandora by e-mail: pandora@ independent.co.uk
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Peter Lik: The self-proclaimed 'fine-art photographer' whose work sells for millions
The best underrated Christmas movies from Love, Actually to While You Were Sleeping
Grace Dent on TV: The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies was a beautifully shot, immensely considered drama
The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies, review: Jason Watkins is brilliant, but real victim Joanna Yeates is reduced to a footnote
Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking Lana Del Rey rape video
Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Shock poll shows voters believe Ukip is to the left of the Tories
New era of cheap oil 'will destroy green revolution'
Ukip founder Alan Sked and Nigel Farage 'begged Enoch Powell to stand as a candidate'
Ukip candidate jokes about 'shooting peasants' in racist and homophobic rant