Wednesday 12 May 1999
SOONER NOT later is when blades will be unsheathed for a Cabinet reshuffle: 10 June has been mentioned as a likely date. It's immediately after the Euro elections and Little Willie's planned re-rejig of the blue party's first team - also reportedly brought forward from July to next month. Oh, and although Pandora doesn't fancy Ann Widdecombe for the No 1 Chick role, you'd be bonkers not to notice that she's currently making some quality moves. There's support for Widdecombe to win motion in the ocean as Little Willie's new Home Affairs shadow: while Michael Howard was around, she couldn't do the gig because her plan is to frame and blame him for the Tories' previous disasters.
SOUR GRAPES anyone? "We had a revolution in this country to get rid of the English. Now they're running our magazines and art galleries and are writing and painting and being paid American money for it. Worst of all, before they got here, they've bought their tea-bags duty-free at the airports, at a shop owned by English people." - Tama Janowitz, in Tatler, on how the British Invasion is becoming the English colonisation. Fact: Janowitz's spouse is English.
BETTER LUCK next season (as Manchester City supporters used to say when Maine Road's gates opened every August)... to Blackburn Rovers striker Ashley Ward. If Blackburn do go down - and as Rovers confront Manchester United tonight, it's a real possibility - it will be the third time in four seasons that Ward has been on a team relegated from the top flight: Norwich in 1995/6; Barnsley in '97/98 and now...? Third time's the charm, Ash.
GREAT FACES for radio, as we now know, do not include Dolly Draper's. When the ex-Mandelson aide blew his Talk Radio slot it was reported that veteran Mirror journalist Paul Routledge had permanently moved in. Tragically, Routledge enjoyed a two-show "reign" before Austin Mitchell (Old Labour, Grimsby) steadied the ship. Talk Radio maintains Routledge was only ever "helping out", but surely even Routledge expected to last longer in a job than Dolly?
DONNY OSMOND woos the therapy vote in his new memoir Life Is What You Make It: "I felt I could not leave my house without them on. They became like magic talismans to me, with the power to ward off my own self-doubts and insecurities." He is writing about his purple socks.
CELEBRITY NIGHTSCHOOL. Today's tutor is Mickey Rourke. After conspicuously blowing his shot for a role on ER, the pugilistic thesp was admitted to hospital for "an adverse reaction to cough syrup". That Night Nurse must have more kick than we thought...
YESTERDAY PANDORA invited Home Secretary Jack Straw to clear the air about whether or not he's ever smoked cannabis. We have his authoritative answer - turn to page 8 of this section. So Pandora's delighted to accept that he can indeed meet "drugs czar" Keith Hellawell without embarrassment. And, Jack - if you thought Pandora was implying you had ever indulged in the pleasures of kif smoking, sorry.
Contact Pandora by e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
GlastonburyWI to make debut appearance at Somerset festival
TV reviewIt has taken seven episodes for Game of Thrones season five to hit its stride
FilmPalme d'Or goes to radical and astonishing film that turns conventional thinking about immigrants on its head
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Caitlyn Jenner's mother Ester thought her daughter, formerly known as Bruce Jenner, had transitioned for money
- 2 Charles Kennedy 1959-2015: A gifted, compassionate politician whose career was cut short by the 'demon drink' - latest news
- 3 Alton Towers crash: Four seriously injured and 16 guests trapped as Smiler ride carriages collide
- 4 Ann Summers survey reveals the UK's favourite sex position
- 5 Gay teenager 'forced to have sex with his own mother' to 'cure' his homosexuality, campaigners in India say
Britain's Got Talent producers apologise for not making Matisse dog double stunt 'clearer'
Britain's Got Talent 2015 final: Jules and Matisse used secret dog double for winning tightrope act
Game of Thrones season 5 episode 9: 'The Dance of Dragons' sees Jon Snow return to The Wall after epic Battle of Hardhome
Britain's Got Talent final 2015: 90 viewers complain to Ofcom about Alesha Dixon and Amanda Holden's 'revealing' dresses
Black Angel: Lost Star Wars precursor to be made into crowdfunded feature film
Thousands of teenage girls enduring debilitating illnesses after routine school cancer vaccination
Migrants in Kos: Photos show real tragedy after Brits abroad complain of 'awkward' holidays
British tourists complain that impoverished boat migrants are making holidays 'awkward' in Kos
Michael Gove determined to scrap the Human Rights Act – even if Scotland retains it
Threat to scrap Human Rights Act could see UK follow Nazi example, warns UN official
Church of England 'one generation away from extinction' after dramatic loss of followers