Pandora

TOBY YOUNG - male lesbian? This week the Brit-born, Manhattan- based scribbler popped on a party frock, fluffed up his orange wig, applied racoon mascara and wiggled into a "startling" 36D brassiere. Why? Because Bob Guccione Jr, whose magazine Gear is currently having its rear kicked from here to next November by the marauding Brit ladmag Maxim, ordered Young to write a feature called "I Was a Lesbian For a Night". Young, still south of 40, dragged himself and his full court dress (emphatically not pictured here) into a cab and infiltrated Mother, a femmes-only hang- out on Manhattan's west side. But an eagle-eyed reveller there saw through the ruse - a posse of game birds surrounded the impostor and, humiliatingly, forced him to do a runner. "I thought being a lesbian was all fun and games," he said later. "But it's really dangerous."

"PSYCHOBABBLING BRIEFS" is one of the kinder descriptions of the International Alliance of Holistic Lawyers. Pandora is not yanking your chain; this strange-but-true organisation, according to Yoga Journal, "challenges clients to define their responsibility in the matter, asking hard questions to find out how the conflict arose and what deeper meaning it represents". Look, you want New Age trash, go to LaLa Land; you want a lawyer, hire a chick who understands stilettos.

ER IS on life support. The American drama, periodically seen here on C4, has been shedding US viewers like dandruff this season and NBC suits are ready to pull the plug. One reason for the long-running hit's demise is the exit, earlier this year, of the show's big talent, George Clooney (pictured). "It's changed the dynamic," admits Laura Innes (Dr Kerry Weaver in the show). "We really miss him." Pandora would add that if ER does flat-line, we'll miss you too, Laura - but reality is that the aqua-coated crew will be around for ever in repeat hell.

FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE fan Norman Tebbit is losing it, big style. The tragic old stick has put down a Lords question demanding to know "which of the political aims of the group Combat 18 cause Ministers to describe it as right-wing." On yer bike, matey.

SAND DARLINGS, it's the new black. How do we know? Giorgio Armani is promoting its new Acqua Di Gio range to fashionistas by sending product samples along with... individual, tissue-encased, exquistly wrapped bags of sand. There are 10 pebbles in the same box. Oh, and there's a vase too. Is this a jigsaw puzzle for the glossy posse?

NOTTING HILL or Star Wars: which will be this summer's bigger hit? Pandora likes underdogs and says "Notting Hill". But she also has a tip for Star Wars fans frustrated by Brit cinemas' apparent inability to pre-book seats ahead of its general release on 16 July. Apply for tickets to Islington's Almeida Theatre; the in-form venue holds a gala premiere of the movie on 15 July. Send an SAE to be in it... and may the force be with you.

JUMPER-SPORTING JAPESTER? Or dumb airhead? The jury's still out on Gyles Brandreth. The former Tory MP's new book includes a floor plan of Parliament with the main cabinet players' rooms clearly identified. Did someone say security frightmare? Maybe baby - but what terrorist is going to walk into Waterstone's and ask for a Gyles Brandreth book as a prelude to their plot for world domination?

WHAT'S EIGHT inches long, flesh-coloured and partially covered by a fig leaf? The Book of the Penis, coming soon to a book store near you. Its author, Maggie Paley, says she immersed herself on Planet Penis for a year. She attended male strip shows and a Hindu ceremony where worshippers honour the phallus, combed scholarly texts detailing primitive piercing rituals, pored over gay porn, found tattoo parlours where inkers mark penises, and tried to find Napoleon's penis. She also, strictly for research purposes of course, interviewed men with small, regular and extra-large members. "I can see the penis brings anguish as well as power and joy," Paley says. "Penises are status symbols for men the way faces are for women."

Contact Pandora by

e-mail: pandora@ independent. co.uk

PROMOTED VIDEO
Arts and Entertainment
Judd Apatow’s make-it-up-as-you-go-along approach is ideal for comedies about stoners and slackers slouching towards adulthood
filmWith comedy film audiences shrinking, it’s time to move on
Arts and Entertainment
booksForget the Man Booker longlist, Literary Editor Katy Guest offers her alternative picks
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment
Off set: Bab El Hara
tvTV series are being filmed outside the country, but the influence of the regime is still being felt
Arts and Entertainment
Red Bastard: Where self-realisation is delivered through monstrous clowning and audience interaction
comedy
Arts and Entertainment
O'Shaughnessy pictured at the Unicorn Theatre in London
tvFiona O'Shaughnessy explains where she ends and her strange and wonderful character begins
Arts and Entertainment
The new characters were announced yesterday at San Diego Comic Con

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Rhino Doodle by Jim Carter (Downton Abbey)

TV
Arts and Entertainment
No Devotion's Geoff Rickly and Stuart Richardson
musicReview: No Devotion, O2 Academy Islington, London
Arts and Entertainment
Christian Grey cradles Ana in the Fifty Shades of Grey film

film
Arts and Entertainment
Comedian 'Weird Al' Yankovic

Is the comedy album making a comeback?

comedy
Arts and Entertainment
While many films were released, few managed to match the success of James Bond blockbuster 'Skyfall'
film
Arts and Entertainment
Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey in the first-look Fifty Shades of Grey movie still

film
Arts and Entertainment
Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc, centre, are up for Best Female TV Comic for their presenting quips on The Great British Bake Off

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Martin Freeman as Lester Nygaard in the TV adaptation of 'Fargo'

TV
Arts and Entertainment
A scene from Shakespeare in Love at the Noel Coward Theatre
theatreReview: Shakespeare in Love has moments of sheer stage poetry mixed with effervescent fun
Arts and Entertainment
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson stars in Hercules

film
Arts and Entertainment
Standing the test of time: Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd in 'Back to the Future'

film
Arts and Entertainment
<p><strong>2008</strong></p>
<p>Troubled actor Robert Downey Jr cements his comeback from drug problems by bagging the lead role in Iron Man. Two further films follow</p>

film
Arts and Entertainment

theatre
Arts and Entertainment
Tycoons' text: Warren Buffett and Bill Gates both cite John Brookes' 'Business Adventures' as their favourite book

books
Independent
Travel Shop
the manor
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on city breaks Find out more
santorini
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on chic beach resorts Find out more
sardina foodie
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on country retreats Find out more
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    A new Russian revolution: Cracks start to appear in Putin’s Kremlin power bloc

    A new Russian revolution

    Cracks start to appear in Putin’s Kremlin power bloc
    Eugene de Kock: Apartheid’s sadistic killer that his country cannot forgive

    Apartheid’s sadistic killer that his country cannot forgive

    The debate rages in South Africa over whether Eugene de Kock should ever be released from jail
    Standing my ground: If sitting is bad for your health, what happens when you stay on your feet for a whole month?

    Standing my ground

    If sitting is bad for your health, what happens when you stay on your feet for a whole month?
    Commonwealth Games 2014: Dai Greene prays for chance to rebuild after injury agony

    Greene prays for chance to rebuild after injury agony

    Welsh hurdler was World, European and Commonwealth champion, but then the injuries crept in
    Israel-Gaza conflict: Secret report helps Israelis to hide facts

    Patrick Cockburn: Secret report helps Israel to hide facts

    The slickness of Israel's spokesmen is rooted in directions set down by pollster Frank Luntz
    The man who dared to go on holiday

    The man who dared to go on holiday

    New York's mayor has taken a vacation - in a nation that has still to enforce paid leave, it caused quite a stir, reports Rupert Cornwell
    Best comedians: How the professionals go about their funny business, from Sarah Millican to Marcus Brigstocke

    Best comedians: How the professionals go about their funny business

    For all those wanting to know how stand-ups keep standing, here are some of the best moments
    The Guest List 2014: Forget the Man Booker longlist, Literary Editor Katy Guest offers her alternative picks

    The Guest List 2014

    Forget the Man Booker longlist, Literary Editor Katy Guest offers her alternative picks
    Jokes on Hollywood: 'With comedy film audiences shrinking, it’s time to move on'

    Jokes on Hollywood

    With comedy film audiences shrinking, it’s time to move on
    It's the best of British art... but not all is on display

    It's the best of British art... but not all is on display

    Voted for by the British public, the artworks on Art Everywhere posters may be the only place where they can be seen
    Critic claims 'I was the inspiration for Blanche DuBois'

    Critic claims 'I was the inspiration for Blanche DuBois'

    Blanche Marvin reveals how Tennessee Williams used her name and an off-the-cuff remark to create an iconic character
    Sometimes it's hard to be a literary novelist

    Sometimes it's hard to be a literary novelist

    Websites offering your ebooks for nothing is only the latest disrespect the modern writer is subjected to, says DJ Taylor
    Edinburgh Fringe 2014: The comedy highlights, from Bridget Christie to Jack Dee

    Edinburgh Fringe 2014

    The comedy highlights, from Bridget Christie to Jack Dee
    Dame Jenny Abramsky: 'We have to rethink. If not, museums and parks will close'

    Dame Jenny Abramsky: 'We have to rethink. If not, museums and parks will close'

    The woman stepping down as chair of the Heritage Lottery Fund is worried