Pandora

CHRIS TARRANT is no stranger to bosom trouble. The other day he was filming in Norfolk. While the crew was setting up, the millionaire broadcaster and his unit manager wandered into a pub. "It was from hell," Tarrant says. The locals had vanished, leaving the bar occupied by holidaying hordes of bellicose Scots. Most were drunk. All demanded autographs. Tarrant signed beer mats, raffle tickets, "anything just to stay in one piece... they were drunk and they were big." Suddenly a woman removed her top and presented her balcony for signature. "It was one of those situations that seemed a great laugh, but [at] any second could have switched to flashpoint and ended up with a bottle in someone's forehead - probably mine," Tarrant says. So, Russ Meyer style, he signed it.

u

TELEVISION X, the soft porn TV channel, is advertising for a presenter to front its new Nudes at Ten spot. Applicants will be expected to work without clothing. The ad says, "Training will be given." Hmmmm: Kara Noble's available...

u

SHANNEN DOHERTY (pictured) could be the latest well-endowed woman to follow Pamela Anderson and (maybe) Demi Moore down the bosom-reduction route. "Absolutely 100 per cent true," she tells the new American edition of Maxim. "I'm one of those women who pull on a tank top and think... ugh! If they were smaller, I wouldn't have to wear bras so much." Doherty, two of whose former beaus have alleged that the former Beverly Hills 90210 star has pulled a gun on them, also reveals what she looks for in a man: "I don't care for perfect teeth or chiselled features. Scars

are good."

u

WHODATHUNKIT? Marilyn Monroe used to sew marbles into her tighter sweaters to achieve a pert effect...

u

HIGH-FLYER Raymond Blanc, the chef, recently turned down the in-flight nosh proffered by British Airways. He produced his own smoked sausage and gelatinous cancoillotte cheese which he offered to Clive Aslet, the Country Life editor, in the next seat. "He even invited the stewardess to join in." A mange a trois?

Oh, and what about Clive Aslet for Jane Procter's old gig? Isn't it time for a man to get a grip at Conde Nast's Tatler? "As a professional one feels one could do anything," Aslet responds. "It depends on what the salary is." Quite.

u

RETURN MATCH? Yes, says the new Golf Monthly. Sean Connery will walk the fairways of Stoke Poges Golf Club on 24 September to play in the 1999 Ian Fleming Celebrity-Am tournament. Connery should know the turf (and its palatial clubhouse) pretty well - he hung out there while filming Goldfinger at nearby Pinewood Studios.

u

"YOU MUSTN'T get pregnant again, otherwise you won't be able to drink." - Male reveller to femme at French viniculturalist Remi Krug's lavish tropical paradise party at Knightsbridge's Hyde Park Hotel this week. The binge also marked the first time the feuding columnists Nigel Dempster and Adam Helliker have been seen in the same room since their visit to Knuckle Junction last year. No fisticuffs this week, Pandora's pleased to report.

u

THE OTHER day Pandora reported that Customs and Excise officers complained about a poster featuring Joanne Ellery, the Chicago dancer, which is sited above passport control at Eurostar's Waterloo terminal. The prissypants complainers are not Customs Officers (sorry about that) - they're from Immigration. These immigration officers are seriously asking the rest of us to believe that passengers on Eurostar trains originating in Brussels or Paris imagine that they've landed in Chicago. Maybe Customs need to check what Immigration has been crumbling in its brownies recently.

u

IT'S OFFICIAL. "Spell your German correctly - it's the law." That's the hype for the new Collins German Dictionary. Excuse the schadenfreude, but one gets you ten that among the dictionary's "6,000 new words," one omission will be a translation for that reliable English Spirit of '66, Class of '99 expression: "You're not singing any more!"

Contact Pandora by e-mail: pandora@ independent.co.uk

Arts and Entertainment
There has been a boom in ticket sales for female comics, according to an industry survey
comedy
Arts and Entertainment
Richard Burr remains the baker to beat on the Great British Bake Off
tvRichard remains the baker to beat as Chetna begins to flake
Arts and Entertainment
Kristen Scott Thomas in Electra at the Old Vic
theatreReview: Kristin Scott Thomas is magnificent in a five-star performance of ‘Electra’
Arts and Entertainment
Swiss guards stand in the Sistine Chapel, which is to be lit, and protected, by 7,000 LEDs
artSistine Chapel to ‘sing’ with new LED lights designed to bring Michelangelo’s masterpiece out of the shadows
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment
Nick Hewer, Lord Alan Sugar, Karren Brady are returning for The Apprentice series 10

TV
Arts and Entertainment
There has been a boom in ticket sales for female comics, according to an industry survey

comedy
Arts and Entertainment
Angelina Jolie and Winona Ryder star in 'Girl, Interrupted'

TV
Arts and Entertainment
From left to right: Ed Stoppard as Brian Epstein, Sheridan Smith as Cilla Black and Elliott Cowan as George Martin in 'Cilla'

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Thomas Pynchon in 1955, left, and Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix in Paul Thomas Anderson's adaptation of his novel, Inherent Vice

film
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Singer Nicole Scherzinger will join the cast of Cats

theatre
Arts and Entertainment
Fans were left surprised by the death on Sunday night's season 26 premiere

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Emma Watson has become the latest target of the 4Chan nude hacking scandal

film
Arts and Entertainment
Lady Mary goes hunting with suitor Lord Gillingham

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Nick Dunne, played by Ben Affleck, finds himself at the centre of a media storm when his wife is reported missing and assumed dead

film
Arts and Entertainment
Lindsay Lohan made her West End debut earlier this week in 'Speed-the-Plow'

theatre
Arts and Entertainment
Artist Nathan Sawaya stands with his sculpture 'Yellow' at the Art of Brick Exhibition

art
Arts and Entertainment
'Strictly Come Dancing' attracted 6.53 million viewers on Friday
tv
Arts and Entertainment
David Tennant plays Detective Emmett Carver in the US version on Broadchurch

tv
Arts and Entertainment
The Doctor goes undercover at Coal Hill School in 'The Caretaker'
tv
Arts and Entertainment
Ni , Rock of Rah, Vanuatu: The Ni live on one of the smallest islands of Vanuatu; Nelson flew five hours from Sydney to capture the 'isolation forged by their remoteness'
photographyJimmy Nelson travelled the world to photograph 35 threatened tribes in an unashamedly glamorous style
Arts and Entertainment
David Byrne
musicDavid Byrne describes how the notorious First Lady's high life dazzled him out of a career low
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Italian couples fake UK divorce scam on an ‘industrial scale’

    Welcome to Maidenhead, the divorce capital of... Italy

    A look at the the legal tourists who exploited our liberal dissolution rules
    Time to stop running: At the start of Yom Kippur and with anti-Semitism flourishing, one Jew can no longer ignore his identity

    Time to stop running

    At the start of Yom Kippur and with anti-Semitism flourishing, one Jew can no longer ignore his identity
    Tom and Jerry cartoons now carry a 'racial prejudice' warning on Amazon

    Tom and Jerry cartoons now carry a 'racial prejudice' warning on Amazon

    The vintage series has often been criticised for racial stereotyping
    An app for the amorous: Could Good2Go end disputes about sexual consent - without being a passion-killer?

    An app for the amorous

    Could Good2Go end disputes about sexual consent - without being a passion-killer?
    Llansanffraid is now Llansantffraid. Welsh town changes its name, but can you spot the difference?

    Llansanffraid is now Llansantffraid

    Welsh town changes its name, but can you spot the difference?
    Charlotte Riley: At the peak of her powers

    Charlotte Riley: At the peak of her powers

    After a few early missteps with Chekhov, her acting career has taken her to Hollywood. Next up is a role in the BBC’s gangster drama ‘Peaky Blinders’
    She's having a laugh: Britain's female comedians have never had it so good

    She's having a laugh

    Britain's female comedians have never had it so good, says stand-up Natalie Haynes
    Sistine Chapel to ‘sing’ with new LED lights designed to bring Michelangelo’s masterpiece out of the shadows

    Let there be light

    Sistine Chapel to ‘sing’ with new LEDs designed to bring Michelangelo’s masterpiece out of the shadows
    Great British Bake Off, semi-final, review: Richard remains the baker to beat

    Tensions rise in Bake Off's pastry week

    Richard remains the baker to beat as Chetna begins to flake
    Paris Fashion Week, spring/summer 2015: Time travel fashion at Louis Vuitton in Paris

    A look to the future

    It's time travel fashion at Louis Vuitton in Paris
    The 10 best bedspreads

    The 10 best bedspreads

    Before you up the tog count on your duvet, add an extra layer and a room-changing piece to your bed this autumn
    Arsenal vs Galatasaray: Five things we learnt from the Emirates

    Arsenal vs Galatasaray

    Five things we learnt from the Gunners' Champions League victory at the Emirates
    Stuart Lancaster’s long-term deal makes sense – a rarity for a decision taken by the RFU

    Lancaster’s long-term deal makes sense – a rarity for a decision taken by the RFU

    This deal gives England a head-start to prepare for 2019 World Cup, says Chris Hewett
    Ebola outbreak: The children orphaned by the virus – then rejected by surviving relatives over fear of infection

    The children orphaned by Ebola...

    ... then rejected by surviving relatives over fear of infection
    Pride: Are censors pandering to homophobia?

    Are censors pandering to homophobia?

    US film censors have ruled 'Pride' unfit for under-16s, though it contains no sex or violence