JULIE BURCHILL has sold the film rights to her life story, and a researcher is now interviewing her pals, past and present, for anecdotes. Casting suggestions? The e-mail contact is below.
ENOUGH ALREADY of the dumb-as-a-post expression "Bless". If you're a priest or an excitable girlie Radio 1 DJ, OK. Anyone else saying it sounds moronic.
WHAT'S THE SKETCH with the late Brinsley Ford's Michelangelo? It's reportedly the last in Europe in private hands. Where is it?
MYSTERY SENTENCE: Can you identify the speaker and context of today's phrase-that-pays? "...the danger of this generation's failure to take any sort of ethical stand on the fringes of criminal behaviour, such as fiddling expenses, deceiving the tax man, pinching office stationery, riding on buses without paying and even shoplifting, means that a moral climate exists which makes it easy for weak-minded individuals to drift into bad crime." The answer is today's penultimate item.
THREE CAMBODIANS, according to the new issue of Class, recently got so hog-whimperingly blasted from drinking shots that they took turns to stamp on an unexploded landmine. No word on who won this dangerous game of nitroglycerine roulette.
DIET TIP: when you watch yourself eat high-fat foods in a looking glass, you eat less, new research suggests. So sayanara fridge magnets, and a big hello to the mirror on the chiller.
NEW LABOUR has a cunning ruse for this week's Euro elections. Instead of muddling voters by talking about tricky stuff like policies and, oh, issues and things, it's adopted a populist take to get the numbers out. Pauline Green, for instance, may be the leader of the biggest group in the European Parliament, but Millbank reveals two other key facts about this former policewoman: she likes Dusty Springfield and Star Trek. Very arresting. If you're stuck in a time warp.
MICHAEL FOOT, the crumbly politician, on why he loves Hampstead Heath: "It's a wonderful place, which I feel is socialism in action." Is this a knowing reference to the Heath's special "caring and sharing" spots?
EVANDER HOLYFIELD, the boxer, is to start his own record label, Real Deal Records. Maybe he could remix DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's old skool choon "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson" in time for his forthcoming showdown with Lennox Lewis. Then again, maybe not.
SLANGING OUT? Current American youth slanguage, courtesy Details. Marinate: relax; round: cool; smelled it; understand it; February; out of style; puma: on a comeback.
WHOSE SENTENCE? Jonathan Aitken's. Today's phrase that pays appears in his book The Young Meteors.
GRAHAM GREENE used to end his love letters: "Love you forever and a day - a long, long day."
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