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GIRL "BORROWS" boy's shirt or sweater and wears it, and we all get a nice warm fuzzy. But do the old feminista reversal trick: boy rings girl and says "Darling I'm wearing your blouse/bra/ shoes"... he's a tranny, isn't he? Did someone say "double standards"? Not Kevin Rowland (pictured). The feisty vocalist, famous for 1980s hits like "Geno" with Dexys Midnight Runners, is the star of a nationwide poster campaign teasing his autumn comeback vehicle, My Beauty, an album of cover versions to be released on the Creation label. "I designed them myself," Rowland told Alan McGee, Creation's head honcho, about the clothes. "It's not a gay thing, it's not a transvestite thing. It's me as a man expressing my soft sexy side." Rowland intends to perform in his new kit later this year. Don't hold your breath waiting for a remix of Rowland's most celebrated choon "Come on Eileen (Lend Us Your Frock)".

JULIE BURCHILL has sold the film rights to her life story, and a researcher is now interviewing her pals, past and present, for anecdotes. Casting suggestions? The e-mail contact is below.

ENOUGH ALREADY of the dumb-as-a-post expression "Bless". If you're a priest or an excitable girlie Radio 1 DJ, OK. Anyone else saying it sounds moronic.

WHAT'S THE SKETCH with the late Brinsley Ford's Michelangelo? It's reportedly the last in Europe in private hands. Where is it?

MYSTERY SENTENCE: Can you identify the speaker and context of today's phrase-that-pays? "...the danger of this generation's failure to take any sort of ethical stand on the fringes of criminal behaviour, such as fiddling expenses, deceiving the tax man, pinching office stationery, riding on buses without paying and even shoplifting, means that a moral climate exists which makes it easy for weak-minded individuals to drift into bad crime." The answer is today's penultimate item.

THREE CAMBODIANS, according to the new issue of Class, recently got so hog-whimperingly blasted from drinking shots that they took turns to stamp on an unexploded landmine. No word on who won this dangerous game of nitroglycerine roulette.

DIET TIP: when you watch yourself eat high-fat foods in a looking glass, you eat less, new research suggests. So sayanara fridge magnets, and a big hello to the mirror on the chiller.

NEW LABOUR has a cunning ruse for this week's Euro elections. Instead of muddling voters by talking about tricky stuff like policies and, oh, issues and things, it's adopted a populist take to get the numbers out. Pauline Green, for instance, may be the leader of the biggest group in the European Parliament, but Millbank reveals two other key facts about this former policewoman: she likes Dusty Springfield and Star Trek. Very arresting. If you're stuck in a time warp.

MICHAEL FOOT, the crumbly politician, on why he loves Hampstead Heath: "It's a wonderful place, which I feel is socialism in action." Is this a knowing reference to the Heath's special "caring and sharing" spots?

EVANDER HOLYFIELD, the boxer, is to start his own record label, Real Deal Records. Maybe he could remix DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's old skool choon "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson" in time for his forthcoming showdown with Lennox Lewis. Then again, maybe not.

SLANGING OUT? Current American youth slanguage, courtesy Details. Marinate: relax; round: cool; smelled it; understand it; February; out of style; puma: on a comeback.

WHOSE SENTENCE? Jonathan Aitken's. Today's phrase that pays appears in his book The Young Meteors.

GRAHAM GREENE used to end his love letters: "Love you forever and a day - a long, long day."

Contact Pandora by e-mail: pandora@ independent.co.uk

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