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...AND OUT of the box oh, all right out of next month's Vogue, comes this adamantine feature called Reading Matters. Fashionista paps shoot snaps of models between shows, shoots and trips down the catwalk. It proves beauty and brains aren't mutually exclusive. But what's on the glossy posse's model reading list this season? Reay Tannahill's Flesh and Blood; Fodor Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment; Ardal O'Hara's Talk of the Town; Hanif Kureishi's Intimacy; and The Catcher in the Rye, by JD Salinger.

RAQUEL WELCH just held her white wedding at her Beverly Hills demesne. It was the bride's fourth; Hello! snared the Euro rights. Welch (pictured) wore sky-high heels and burst into tears while exchanging trad vows with her restaurateur husband Richard Palmer. As the couple walked up the aisle, guests tossed yellow rose petals, many of which fluttered into the bride's silken cleavage. In the garden, a band played "Moon River" and "The Shadow of Your Smile". Just one wrong note accompanied this romantic soundtrack - the loud buzz of Welch's neighbour trimming hedges.

JOHN KENNEDY JR was depicted on a "touching ceramic replica", described at ebay's online auction site as "limited edition". On Saturday morning, the seven-inch, white-glazed figure carried a $15 reserve. By Sunday lunchtime, it sold to the third bidder at $700.

CELEBRITY McNUGGETS: Madonna's daughter Lourdes (aka Lola) is app-arently forbidden from watching TV or videos chez maman, so she's "like an addict" when she's at other people's places... Catherine Zeta Jones abandoned these shores because we cruelly thought she was "a man-stealing seductress" (stick around, kiddo)... Matthew Perry and Matt Le Blanc are commiserating over broken engagements... Keith Richards is the surprise leader in GQ's Lifetime Achievement Poll...

WILLIAM ROACHE, who plays caliente sex machine Ken Barlow in Corrie, may have a beef with the Beeb. He was trailed as a guest on Question Time the other day, but was pulled in favour of that celebrated ratings winner Don Foster. A BBC spokesman says it was to ensure a Liberal voice was heard in Question Time's thrilling Euro election autopsy. But one mouthpiece from each main party means - you do the maths - three guests, right? Question Time, a BBC spokesman says, can accommodate four or five panellists. Is the Beeb so deeply dumbed down that it can't count? Or was Roache pulled because he's so firmly identified with ITV?

ADAM PALMER is probably sixth cousin to Raquel Welch's new restaurateur spouse. This week he publishes a recipe collection called The Champneys Cookbook that features food pictures shot only by natural light. Champneys plans to open a city club in Brussels next year. John Thurso, the independently rich landowning Champneys boss, is seeking London premises to launch Palmer as a superstar chef. "Until I met Adam my idea of good food was caviar and cream," the lavishly moustachioed Thurso says. "After all the time he's spent on the book, I've decided to give him a restaurant to lure him back to the kitchen."

OH, AND GO TO HELL - and bring your TV. This week Carlton is screening a week's programming about gridlock... mmmmouthwatering! The debut show was called Traffic Jams from Hell. So some wise-guy producer buys up a bunch of footage of jamming jollies, sticks the words "From Hell" on the end, and Carlton suits produce the corporate chequebook? Boys and girls, take these very special projects from Happyland TV... please: Queues From Hell, Escalator Nightmares, Dry Cleaning Unzipped, All Action Crazee Cam Live from Bromley DSS. Pandora's favourite? "Sermons From Hell".

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