Tuesday 10 August 1999
FUN FACT: Patrick Moore has met the first man to fly (Orville Wright); the first man in space (Yuri Gagarin) - and the first man on the Moon (Neil Armstrong).
WHEN A FIRM introduces e-mail, its print volume increases by 40 per cent. And in the next two years, laser printers alone will use 1.2 trillion pieces of paper, says PWC's 1999 Technology Forecast; office copiers will add 1.1 trillion sheets more. Put them together, and the paper trail encircles the Earth 18 times. So much for the paperless office.
READERS' INDIGESTION this week looks at Millionaire, "The Very Best the World Has to Offer" - a magazine not normally available on the news- stands. If cover lines such as "The History of Cartier" don't put you off, the accompanying art portraying Sophia Loren, the subject of a sycophantic profile within, almost certainly will. (La Loren is pictured differently below.) The mag's byline snaps suggest that, at this level, beauty and an interest in millionaires are, outside the boudoir of the paid escort, destined to remain strangers. Millionaire's glossy, 272-page August issue is dominated by ads for objects that are mostly unspeakably vulgar. Most editorial is a viable alternative to Valium. Sample feature: "Amateur paddler builds successful business catering to expanding paddlesports industry". Oooh, racy. Check this killer pull-quote: "We worked hard to build relationships with our customers, because our success is based on their repeat business." Millionaire's supposedly subscription only; its appearance on news-stands suggest that dorsal fins may circle soon.
THE SEX Pistols star in The Filth and The Fury, a documentary currently slotted on the independent film company New Line's release schedule for spring next year. Give us a break... for the next 10 years or so?
CHARLIE SHEEN is in trouble again. Two alleged actresses are suing him, after their late-night social call to his Malibu pad was interrupted by a visit from Zippy the bodyguard. Sheen claims, in court papers, that the girls' visit was more of a home invasion. Erin Seiman, who says she's an "intimate friend" of the Wall Street star, claims Zippy punched her in the face, shattering her nose and cheekbone. Christina Stramaglia says she was "tossed around by her hair". Sheen's side contend that the duo were trespassing, and turned nasty when Zippy asked them to go. Sheen and Zippy have won a restraining order against the women. Sheen, who's on probation for an assault charge against a former girlfriend, is making a film called Rated X.
WHODATHUNKIT? During our lives, we should grow 590 miles of hair.
A GORMLESS youth from Florida tried to auction his virginity online. Think of the legal implications: ouch, baby, ouch. ebay pulled him within 10 minutes.
OH, AND have you had enough of the Nineties? Here are five signs they're over for you: 1. You've either a) tried to enter your password on the microwave or b) dialled 9 before making a phone call from home. 2. You've a list of 15 numbers to reach your family of four - and the dog hasn't got a phone. 3. You've chatted several times a day with a stranger from Bloemfontein, South Africa, but this year you haven't yet spoken to your next-door neighbour. 4. You reassure yourself that you're organised by buying back-up supplies of multi-coloured Post-Its. 5. You've used the word "umfriend" to denote a sexual relationship of questionable status: "This is Philip, he's my umfriend..."
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