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NAKED MONDAY? Piccadilly Circus is supposed to see a public demonstration of nudism today, say Ilana Salem and Sonya Winner, authors of The A-Z of Surviving the Millennium. This came as a surprise to another group, last seen sans kit at Glastonbury, who plan a naked protest on 21 August at St Paul's Cathedral. Hot ziggety! Just because the gendarmerie won't be able to press charges (how can you pin anything on a naked protester?) doesn't mean these people have all the dots on their dominoes. Supermodel naturists? OK. But as for the rest of us, well, please don't parade your shortcomings.

SKATEBOARDING RABBITS, dogs that wear bullet-proof vests and then Chimp TV... you could be forgiven for thinking that we're over the hill of amazement when it comes to animal antics. Until you've seen Dancing With Cats, a new book by Burton Silver and Heather Busch; it pictures our feline friends performing a series of paw de deux with people. What next? People crawling round in kitty litter?

KATE BECKINSALE found filming in Manila more of a killer than a thriller. She and Claire Danes, her co-star in Brokedown Place, became quite familiar with the local prison during the 16-week shoot. "The cell location was a horrible mistake because the gravel on the floor stank of cats' piss," Kate (pictured) says. "Obviously this was like a favourite location for all the local cats to do their business. We kept telling the staff to rake the gravel, but in the Philippines' heat it was horrendous." Beckinsale, daughter of Richard Beckinsale (Lenny Godber in Porridge) and Danes had to kneel in this gravel. "If we looked extra humiliated during those scenes, there's good reason. Of course the crew thought it was hysterical and the director kept making us do extra takes." Oh, and enquiring minds wonder why Gwyneth Paltrow keeps winning roles that require an English accent while Kate B keeps being cast as an American. Go figure.

SHARON STONE. Harrison Ford. They've something in common. Other stars who've snogged them say they're both bad kissers.

"I NEVER" is the latest smart party game, according to the new Vanity Fair. You discover a lot about your fellow players very quickly. Everyone holds up all five fingers of one hand, and the first player may say: "I have never had sex in a taxi." Everyone who has had sex in a taxi then puts a finger down. The last person with one or more fingers still standing wins.

SKIPPY HORRORWITZ, Pandora's man with a starlet on each arm, reports from Hollywood: "Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas are talking about starring together in Cameron Mackintosh's musical version of The Witches of Eastwick in London. She'd play a witch. He'd reprise Jack Nicholson's role as the horny devil. People are saying the cooing lovebirds will tie the knot when his divorce from Diandra, his ex-wife is finalised. That could be within weeks. If they take the Witches route, they could find Diandra in their first-night audience - she's been hanging in London with her new love, Sacha Newley."

NAOMI CAMPBELL told Ian R Webb that her secret ambition is to appear on Desert Island Discs.

ANOTHER TOUCHING tale of male domesticity. A Pandoraphile we'll call Vicky found an insignificant other had put an egg in her microwave. She gently explained the link between shells, pressure and explosions. The guy grabbed the egg and vanished. Later, there was a sloshing sound from the bathroom, then a screech and ripish language. Vicky investigated. The half-naked guy opened the door; the bathroom floor was covered with yolk and white. The sheepish guy said: "I was finishing it off in the bath with me..." Another Pandoraphile describes what happened next as a PG Wodehouse moment: "She told him to put an egg in his shoe and beat it."

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