Monday 13 September 1999
STEPHEN NORRIS: is he having second thoughts about running for mayor of London? Nozza is convinced he can be PM - dream on, sport - and his pals are urging him to drop out of the race, endorse Jeffrey Archer and fight Michael Portillo for the late Alan Clark's Ken and Chelsea seat. Norris would have the edge in one vital respect. The Poshopolis constituency's Conservative electorate will not need reminding that Norris is closer to Alan Clark than Portillo in that both Clark and Norris have form as masters of the mattress.
THE APA'S mobile phone has "gone missing" from the APA office. APA? That'd be the Association of Police Authorities, who spend all our cash on crime prevention initiatives...
DEBORAH MOGGACH, author of Tulip Fever, will get a surprise if she pops down to St John's Wood library. Last time we looked, her novel had been bedded down under "Gardening". In related bibliophile babble, John Howard, the Australian Premier, happened to reveal that his very favourite bedtime reading actually includes a tome called The Complete Idiot's Guide to Getting Along With Difficult People.
A WOMAN flying in Air New Zealand business class is being offered compensation after finding a rat sitting on her lap. The airborne rodent was spotted after the Boeing 767-300 had left Los Angeles for Tahiti. "The passenger felt something on her right leg, lifted her blanket and found the rat sitting on her lap," a mouthpiece said. The animal's carcass was found under the cockpit floorboard after the plane had landed in Auckland. It was thought to be "an escaped pet".
SMUGGLING PETS on to aircraft is easier than you think. After all, drug smugglers sneak stuff aboard planes all the time, don't they? Which segues effortlessly into Pandora's continuing high-flyers coverage. You'll recall that more than 50 employees of American Airlines and a Lufthansa subsidiary were arrested on narcotics charges in Miami the other day. (They'd been using the planes to smuggle cocaine.) So American Airlines may reconsider its ad slogan. Last time we looked, it was: "There's something special in the air".
ANNA WINTOUR'S affair with Shelby Bryan, a rich guy, got so out of hand that President Clinton himself telephoned Bryan's wife to offer his condolences.
THIS JUST in - a production secretary is suing for sexual harassment. She alleges that TV suits manhandled her breasts, poured water down her blouse and whipped her bottom with a dog leash. The show concerned is called Politically Incorrect.
OH, AND an extremely indiscreet thesp (no dabs, no traces, no problem) repeated this little exchange of greetings to Pandora over the week-end: "Hello - I'm Maureen Lipman." "Hi - I'm Patsy Palmer." (Pause) Lipman: "Are you an actress?"
Saucer of milk to the grande dame at Michael Winner's table at the Park Lane Hotel. And always remember to dish it up cold.
Contact Pandora by e-mail: pan dora@ independent.co.uk
Filming to begin on two new series due to be aired on Dave from next year
TVBBC hopes latest Danish import will spell success
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Which country would be hardest to invade?
- 2 The man who filmed the Freddie Gray video has been arrested at gunpoint
- 3 Indonesia executions: Death row British grandmother Lindsay Sandiford will refuse to wear a blindfold when she faces firing squad
- 4 How the language you speak changes your view of the world
- 5 Royal baby girl born: Duchess of Cambridge's second child will be a princess thanks to Queen
Grace Dent on TV: Peter Kay's Car Share made me genuinely LOL
Avengers: Age of Ultron set to make box office history with $84.5m US opening
The highly NSFW poster for Gaspar Noé's Love makes Nymphomaniac look like 50 Shades
Red Dwarf returns: Craig Charles quits Coronation Street to return to comedy sci-fi series
New on Netflix UK May 2015: From Fast & Furious 6 to World War Z and Grace and Frankie
Over 50,000 families shipped out of London boroughs in the past three years due to welfare cuts and soaring rents
EU asylum policy is 'a direct threat to our civilisation', says Nigel Farage
The Rothschild Libel: Why has it taken 200 years for an anti-Semitic slur that emerged from the Battle of Waterloo to be dismissed?
General Election 2015: SNP and its activists 'openly racist' towards the English, Farage says
General Election 2015: UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power, Labour warns
Schools forced to act as 'miniature welfare states' with teachers buying underwear and even haircuts for poor pupils