The National Happiness Index by Martin Newell illustration by Andrew Birch
Thursday 26 November 1998
Can we measure happiness?
Labour answers firmly, "Yes."
But in case of lingering doubt.
Try these indicators out:
Rainy day, with cup of tea
Lying in bed with small t.v.
British film, made '43
"Heppy dahling?" Terribly.
Moving out of well-loved house
Due to job-loss/errant spouse
Going back to clean the thing
Crying in car of rebound fling.
Waking without aching head
After vat of Spanish red
Having got away with it
Due to some divine remit.
Stuck on train one weekday night
Driver waiting for green light
Tannoy burbling in old norse
While you miss the latest Morse.
Local, full of Bridget Joneses
Shouting in their mobile phoneses
Smoking, drinking G.& T.
Far too noisy. (not v.g.)
Friday night at five-to-eight
Wedge in pocket, red-hot date
Just about to go for beer
Cat crawls in with torn-off ear.
Saturday in Casualty
After gardening tragedy
Sat behind two football yobs
Listening to distant sobs.
Taking all these factors in
Giving it the usual spin
Are we happy? Do we know?
Yeah. Delirious. Can I go?
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