The National Happiness Index by Martin Newell illustration by Andrew Birch
Thursday 26 November 1998
Can we measure happiness?
Labour answers firmly, "Yes."
But in case of lingering doubt.
Try these indicators out:
Rainy day, with cup of tea
Lying in bed with small t.v.
British film, made '43
"Heppy dahling?" Terribly.
Moving out of well-loved house
Due to job-loss/errant spouse
Going back to clean the thing
Crying in car of rebound fling.
Waking without aching head
After vat of Spanish red
Having got away with it
Due to some divine remit.
Stuck on train one weekday night
Driver waiting for green light
Tannoy burbling in old norse
While you miss the latest Morse.
Local, full of Bridget Joneses
Shouting in their mobile phoneses
Smoking, drinking G.& T.
Far too noisy. (not v.g.)
Friday night at five-to-eight
Wedge in pocket, red-hot date
Just about to go for beer
Cat crawls in with torn-off ear.
Saturday in Casualty
After gardening tragedy
Sat behind two football yobs
Listening to distant sobs.
Taking all these factors in
Giving it the usual spin
Are we happy? Do we know?
Yeah. Delirious. Can I go?
After giving gay film R-rating despite no sex or violencefilm
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Rice Bucket Challenge: India's take on the Ice Bucket Challenge 'for Indian needs'
- 2 Pamela Anderson rejects ice bucket challenge because of ALS experiments on animals: 'Mice had holes drilled into their skulls'
- 3 ALS ice bucket challenge co-founder Corey Griffin drowns, aged 27
- 4 Rubble Bucket Challenge: Ice Bucket Challenge adapted in solidarity with Gazans whose homes have been destroyed in conflict
- 5 Teenager dies after suspected ice bucket challenge goes horribly wrong
Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin voted Greatest Guitar Riff of all time
Doctor Who lesbian kiss sparks Ofcom complaints over 'weird lesbian-lizard perv trip'
Emmys 2014: Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman and Stephen Moffat win big awards for Sherlock
Nicki Minaj suffers wardrobe malfunction during MTV VMAs performance with Jessie J and Ariana Grande
Beyonce MTV VMAs feminist performance: Twitter reacts to singer's 'double standard'
Exclusive: We share blame for creating 'jihad generation', says Muslim strategist
Scottish independence TV debate: Pumped-up Alex Salmond bounces back in bruising second round against Alistair Darling
The Rotherham child abuse scandal is a tale of apologists, misogyny and double standards
Robin Williams Emmys tribute led by Billy Crystal criticised for including 'racist' joke about Muslim woman
Jeremy Clarkson is a cultural tumour and needs to be removed, says comedian Frankie Boyle
Air strikes? Talk of God? Barack Obama is following the jihadists’ script after James Foley beheading
- < Previous
- Next >