Poetic Licence: Bob's Smart Car

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A leading transport expert, Professor Chris Wright, says that microprocessor devices installed in cars of the future may also act as policemen by keeping records of bad driving, fining us or, in extreme cases, even arresting us by locking us in our cars.

Good morning Bob

Your Ford Futura speaking

Monday/ Feb-thirteen/ Year 2010


Can't pin down that squeaking

Recommend clear boot out now and then

Exit seventeen you want?

You missed it.

Contraflow and tailback up ahead

Soothing sounds on system

Temper temper!

Bear in mind what Robomedic said

I'm sorry Bob

But "Dickhead" isn't proper

Fined 100 euro. Insult noted.

No use to dispute it Bob.

I word-searched.

Digi-dictionary has it quoted

Light was amber Bob,

Don't argue with me.

Jumping traffic lights endangers life.

Incidentally, Bob

Last weekend's "conference"

Female colleague was she? Not your wife

Not the smartest move Bob,

Really. Was it?

Driving while "distracted". An offence.

Had to shut you down Bob

It's illegal.

Video recorded evidence

Mandatory, Bob

They're standard features.

Steering-lock and seat-clamps all release.

After flashing lights

And pulsing hooter

Signal the attention of the police

Put it this way Bob

You're only forty

May remarry, find a job some day.

Sorry Bob, your phrase

Can't be computed.

Nearest substitute is: "Go away."