Well no. The goats don't always die.
Quite a few of them are reusable.
But not as actual submarine crew
Since they don't have opposable thumbs
And they'd be no use in wartime
Because of smells in confined spaces
Oh and horns getting stuck in hatches
So we use decompression chambers.
Well, they use pigs for testing live ammo
So I suppose we scientists just thought:
"Submarines? Decompression? The bends?
Gotta be goats. For sure. Absolutely. Yup."
Think about it. One minute I'm at uni.
Then the next I've answered this advert:
Reckon You've Got What it Takes?
Come and compress goats for the Navy."
"Had a hard day at the labs, darling?
Any closer to sorting out that pressure problem?
Any fan mail from grateful sailors then?" Nope.
We sure gave those goat spleens what for though.
So do the goats get distressed about it?
How should I know? No. I'm not trying to
Worm out of it. This is what they say:
"They bleat and leap around." Whatever.
No. I don't know what the women scientists think.
One of the guys got taken off it, though.
Oh and your brother, the leftie nutter, told me
To have a word with myself. About myself.
What? Didja think we'd put them in their own
Little submarines? With peaked caps?
In an immersion tank. Like in the film
Das Goat? Sorry. Cheap shot. Don't cry.Reuse content