A Resurrection re-script, right?
A brand new take for modern times.
You can't just leave them in the lurch
By doing a Ratner on The Church.
You've axed the main part of the act
They liked that bit and that's a fact.
The loaves and fishes; in or out?
The miracles? Could be in doubt.
Your modern churchgoer now expects
Some fireworks, lights and sound effects.
With Hell already watered down,
The Devil ridden out of town,
The customers won't like the news
You may well lose more bums on pews.
The thing about your modern firm,
Although it makes the old guard squirm
Is run it like a 3-hop shop.
Christened. Wedded. Buried. Stop.
You'll pull your punters in that way
And then they'll stick around to pray.
This other bit will have to go:
A long-haired geezer with a beard
Attacks financial institution/
Tables over/ Resolution?
Money lenders miffed a bit
But then he gets away with it.
You couldn't write that sketch today
What might your City sponsors say?
They'd label him an anarchist
And then you'll lose your Eucharist.
We've had our top guys on this thing
And flew it in to Marketing
Who said, the way to make a bomb
Is interactive CD ROM
An in-house package Cyber-Preacher
Resurrection Option feature.
You boost your score the more you play
Then up He comes, the Second Day!
Now run this catchline up the pole:
"He's back. This time he wants your soul."
Well... whaddya think?