Poetic Licence: The Headless Lover
Thursday 11 March 1999
Only the gleaming faucets
And the tiles upon the walls
Return the erotic reverb
When the headless lover calls
Did the headless lover call
In a blazer and cravat
Confusing several servants
Who could never find his hat?
But they never found his hat
Though her husband looked in vain
So sure she'd been unfaithful
With the headless man again
That headless man again
Not photographed in bed
But blatantly in the bathroom
Her husband's lawyers said
And as the lawyers read
From a lengthy list of men
I crossed myself and friends off
Since we were only 10
Yes we were only 10
And far too young for girls
Let alone the daunting Duchess
Naked except for her pearls
Naked except for her pearls?
Imagine it if you can
Disporting herself in Belgravia
With her lover, the headless man
And her lover, the headless man
What did he do in the day?
Apart from giving headless
They weren't allowed to say
No they weren't allowed to say
But it's there in some dusty file
The name of the headless lover
Of the Duchess Of Argyll.
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