Poetic Licence: The Inner Life Of A Dog
Thursday 11 June 1998
THE INNER LIFE OF A DOG
On evidence produced so far
The border collie on my chair
Who daily sheds his weight in hair
Is not au fait with Schopenhauer
Or not as far as I'm aware.
When pressed, he wouldn't say as such
That lying around in my back yard
He'd ever toyed with Kierkegaard
But quietly nadgered at his crutch
As if the question was too hard
And then the Third World Debt arose
What might the western nations do?
He didn't seem to have a clue
But ran his tongue across his nose
Straight after drinking from the loo
While touching on the recent test
Of lndia's bomb - how did he feel?
The threat of conflict. Was it real?
He tried to mount a dinner guest
Which rather ruined the evening meal
And when I mentioned haute couture
He took a time to comprehend
But hinted that a recent trend
For rolling round in goat ordure
Was de rigueur for man's best friend
So had he read Anais Nin
Or ever surfed the Internet
And e-mailed to a fellow pet?
He much preferred the kitchen bin
Was all the answer I could get.
Final Top Gear reviewTV
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