Poetic Licence: The Winterval Manifesto
Thursday 12 November 1998
Shepherds watching flocks by night
Must cease work by 9.00 pm
In line with set Working Hours limits.
The cattle are lowing.
The baby awakes.
Ring our Noise Pollution Hotline.
The holly and the ivy
Now they are both full-grown
Have been deemed unsuitable for use
Since the holly is not child-friendly
And the ivy may affect asthma sufferers.
Elves will report to Team Leader,
Ms Ryan for her keynote speech:
"Paper Chains In A Workshop Context"
A hands-on assembly instruction session
Will provide facts on a Need-To-Know basis.
Boxing Day is rescheduled for 2nd Jan 1999
Renamed: Courtesy Visit/Gift Interface Day,
It will allow those workers in non-aligned jobs
A compensatory Comfort and Joy period.
Differently-nosed sub-arctic deer
Must not be subjected to workplace harassment
And will receive fair employment consideration
Under the Equal Opportunities Act.
Safety headgear must be worn at all times
In a one-horse open vehicle,
Laughing all the way.
Our Winterval Patriarch will visit you.
He may seek to gain entry via your chimney
We apologise if he calls at an inconvenient hour.
Under the 1994 Toy Recipients Charter,
You may be entitled to compensation.
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