Poetic Licence: Trouble at Mensa

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The Independent Culture
Mrs Julie Baxter, the sacked head of Mensa, claims that there are "dark forces at work" within the organisation. She plans to invite people like Richard Branson and Paul Merton to form a rival society, whose members will have to prove emotional maturity as well as a high IQ

There's something up at Mensa

The home of high IQs

Some egghead argy-bargy

It's not surprising news

With academic foreheads

And steely glints in eyes

They sail through


But can't do up their flies

We're talking two per centers

Who put the shapes in holes

And understand the ball-game

As Eysenck set the goals

Those brainy Midwich


Who pass 11-pluses

Then ponder Newton's 3rd Law

While walking under buses

But here's a proposition

For those a trifle denser:

Let's form a rival brain pool

And call it Common Sensa

Literate with emotions

Experienced as lovers

Our members will be experts

At fitting duvet covers

Our houses free of hazards

Our plugs correctly wired-up

Our boilers summer-serviced

Before we have them fired-up

Our circuit-breakers purchased

Our lawnmower flex behind us

Our Reader's Digest novels

Condensed and in their binders

Certificates we issue

In gothic-looking letters

We tell our envious


We know that we're their


And hanging in our kitchens

Will crystallise forever

The quiet conceit of people

Who want it known they're clever