Poppy Folly: Your stars - It could happen
Saturday 10 April 1999
However, Ariens are extremely interested in power and, consequently, they tend to make quite good dictators - for just as long as the writhing proletariat can hold their interest, anyway (and goodness knows, they realise with an ironic shrug, there's a very good reason why the proletariat are so proletarian). But still, we find here in this week's astrology Papa Doc Duvalier, Kim Il Sung, Nikita Kruschev and Mrs Bandaranaike, one of the first women prime ministers - even though it was only Sri Lanka she was prime minister of.
The good thing about Aries is the same as the stupid thing. When everything is laid out for them, when they've at long last achieved all their goals, they are quite likely to throw it all away on some trivial, frivolous experience (money, say). However, it is precisely this flaw that makes them absolutely marvellous in bed (and in choir stalls, and in taxis, and in those cupboards under the stairs while the rest of the dinner party doesn't realise they've slipped away from the table - yes, not only are they brilliant they can be as quick as they're needed to be).
But in spite of their appetite for and talent with disasters of all sorts, those born under the sign of Aries have no sense of humour whatsoever: Anatole France, Samantha Fox, Charlie Chaplin, Spike Milligan and that fat berk Peter Ustinov. We can except Samuel Beckett from this rule but not Tama Janowitz, David Letterman, Max von Sydow or Hayley Mills.
TV review Nick Hewer, the man whose eyebrows speak a thousand words, is set to leave The Apprentice
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Peter Lik: The self-proclaimed 'fine-art photographer' whose work sells for millions
The best underrated Christmas movies from Love, Actually to While You Were Sleeping
Grace Dent on TV: The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies was a beautifully shot, immensely considered drama
The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies, review: Jason Watkins is brilliant, but real victim Joanna Yeates is reduced to a footnote
Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking Lana Del Rey rape video
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Shock poll shows voters believe Ukip is to the left of the Tories
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Ukip candidate jokes about 'shooting peasants' in racist and homophobic rant
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre