Poppy Folly: Your stars - It could happen

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The Independent Culture
People misconstrue the Aries sector. The aggression and energetic imbecility that we associate with the sign mark it out as the natural homeland for fascists. But though Ariens are bullies (Ethel Kennedy, Tamerlane the Great) they generally lack the mental stamina to construct and adhere to an ideological framework. More simply, and less to their credit, they're not obedient enough.

However, Ariens are extremely interested in power and, consequently, they tend to make quite good dictators - for just as long as the writhing proletariat can hold their interest, anyway (and goodness knows, they realise with an ironic shrug, there's a very good reason why the proletariat are so proletarian). But still, we find here in this week's astrology Papa Doc Duvalier, Kim Il Sung, Nikita Kruschev and Mrs Bandaranaike, one of the first women prime ministers - even though it was only Sri Lanka she was prime minister of.

The good thing about Aries is the same as the stupid thing. When everything is laid out for them, when they've at long last achieved all their goals, they are quite likely to throw it all away on some trivial, frivolous experience (money, say). However, it is precisely this flaw that makes them absolutely marvellous in bed (and in choir stalls, and in taxis, and in those cupboards under the stairs while the rest of the dinner party doesn't realise they've slipped away from the table - yes, not only are they brilliant they can be as quick as they're needed to be).

But in spite of their appetite for and talent with disasters of all sorts, those born under the sign of Aries have no sense of humour whatsoever: Anatole France, Samantha Fox, Charlie Chaplin, Spike Milligan and that fat berk Peter Ustinov. We can except Samuel Beckett from this rule but not Tama Janowitz, David Letterman, Max von Sydow or Hayley Mills.