Poppy Folly Your Stars: It Could Happen
Saturday 01 May 1999
Notwithstanding these slurs, Taureans can be important members of society, particularly during times of trench warfare. You're too slow to run away, too dull to complain and too stupid to do anything other than issue the most fatal of battle orders. Taurean Baron von Richthofen was only motivated in his endeavours by a promise to rejoin his engineering regiment 85 feet under France on the occasion of his 250th kill.
You Taureans are inclined to stand on your dignity (which is why no one else knows it's there), and you are most memorable when taking your leave: your backward parts are astonishing. Eva Peron (who committed that unforgivable crime with her accomplices in the Rice-Lloyd Webber gang) was only ever redeemed by her rump which was capable of subduing angry, hungry crowds if its contours were correctly exposed.
But let us not forget the monstrous frauds of Taurus. William Lilly, the 17th-century astrologer; Sigmund Freud, who invented the Freudian slit - that is the Freudian slip which my Freudian brother wears under his Freudian petticoat; and Karl Marx, who shelved his ridiculous Das Kapital unfinished because he realised it was all bollocks (it was published posthumously). And unbeatably, the demented American who did more to collapse the bourgeois capitalist value system than an armchair full of anarchists: the demonic Dr Spock.
Game of Thrones
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Game of Thrones season 6: Jon Snow theorists believe Ned Stark's son may have a twin sister
- 2 Artist takes LSD, draws herself over different stages of the 9-hour trip to show its effects
- 3 Miley Cyrus address Robin Thicke VMA controversy: ‘He wanted me as naked as possible, but I got the heat because I’m a woman’
- 4 iPhone 6s camera: features to include 4K video camera and flash for selfies
- 5 A pint of water every day is the key to losing weight, scientists say
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