Poppy Folly Your Stars: It Could Happen
Saturday 01 May 1999
Notwithstanding these slurs, Taureans can be important members of society, particularly during times of trench warfare. You're too slow to run away, too dull to complain and too stupid to do anything other than issue the most fatal of battle orders. Taurean Baron von Richthofen was only motivated in his endeavours by a promise to rejoin his engineering regiment 85 feet under France on the occasion of his 250th kill.
You Taureans are inclined to stand on your dignity (which is why no one else knows it's there), and you are most memorable when taking your leave: your backward parts are astonishing. Eva Peron (who committed that unforgivable crime with her accomplices in the Rice-Lloyd Webber gang) was only ever redeemed by her rump which was capable of subduing angry, hungry crowds if its contours were correctly exposed.
But let us not forget the monstrous frauds of Taurus. William Lilly, the 17th-century astrologer; Sigmund Freud, who invented the Freudian slit - that is the Freudian slip which my Freudian brother wears under his Freudian petticoat; and Karl Marx, who shelved his ridiculous Das Kapital unfinished because he realised it was all bollocks (it was published posthumously). And unbeatably, the demented American who did more to collapse the bourgeois capitalist value system than an armchair full of anarchists: the demonic Dr Spock.
After giving gay film R-rating despite no sex or violencefilm
Arts & Ents blogs
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- 3 Kajieme Powell: Missouri police release video footage of second man killed by officers
- 4 Paul Scholes: Manchester United need five experienced players who can turn round a desperate situation
- 5 James Foley 'beheading': Met police warn public watching murder video could be criminal offence
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Richard Dawkins on babies with Down Syndrome: 'Abort it and try again – it would be immoral to bring it into the world'
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Michael Brown shooting: Chaos erupts on the streets of Ferguson after autopsy shows teenager was shot six times – twice in the head
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