Pursuits: Creativity

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The Independent Culture
FAMOUS LAST words never said. Space dictates a format change: so many entries, even excluding all the Hannibals and Nelsons, deserved mention that the only way to fit in a representative quantity is simply to list sayer, saying and submitter.

Lazarus: "I'll be back" (RJ Pickles); "Oy veh, here we go again" (Pat Gould).

Spartacus: "I shall get a little cross in a minute" (Pat Gould).

Icarus: "But Pritt Stick was what they suggested on Blue Peter..." (Bruce Birchall).

Che Guevara: "All this for a bloody poster" (Lord Biro).

Harold Wilson: "A life is a long time in Labour politics" (Philip Marlow).

Mao Zedong: "Okay, so we get this actor who looks like me to go swimming in the Yangtse. And what am I supposed to be doing meanwhile?" (Bruce Birchall).

Pepys: "And so to dead" (RJ Pickles).

Renee Descartes: "My mind's gone blank. Who was I?" (Paul Turner).

Enoch Powell: "Everything's turning black" (Lord Biro).

Lucrezia Borgia: "Damn! Wrong glass!" (Andrew Duncan).

Marie Curie: "Bit hot in here" (James A Kelly).

Oliver Cromwell: "I go to meet my equal" (Andrew Duncan).

Freud: "Mummy!" (Peter Thomas).

Lady Thatcher: "Forgive me. I was wrong. So very wrong" (D Bull).

Vestal Virgin: "I'm sure there was something I meant to try..." (Len Clarke).

Josef Stalin: "Alright! I'm sorry! Doctors are honest sons of toil! Just get me one, will you?" (Bruce Birchall); "You say this was where Engels feared to tread?" (Peter Thomas).

Julius Caesar: "I never believe conspiracy theories. Et tu, Brute?" (Michael Gifford).

Captain Oates: "I don't suppose anyone has any toilet paper?" (Paul Turner).

Lloyd George: "I knew everybody's father" (RJ Pickles).

Napoleon: "Tomorrow, Josephine" (M Higgs).

Richard the Lionheart: "Yes, they are a bit Moorish, aren't they?" (Peter Thomas).

Albert Einstein: "It all depends on where you stand" (James A Kelly).

Thomas Crapper: "Shit" (Eric Dunkley).

Dictionaries to Andrew Duncan, for productivity, and RJ Pickles. Brendan O'Byrne hopes that creative types will be able to suggest some useful new breeds of dog to be company for his billdog (which handles invoicing), penny pinscher (a cheap guard dog), basket hound (great for shopping) and boarder collie (which rounds up stray lodgers).

Suggestions to Creativity, The Independent (Features), 18th Floor, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. A change of prize from this week, for those who feel they have enough dictionaries for the time being. The top two, or three (depending on whether anyone has won one for suggesting the week's theme) entries to this week's competition, and subsequent ones until I have a change of heart, will win a Chambers Dictionary of Quotations. Results two weeks from today.

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