Quotes of the Week

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"I go where I am told."

John Prescott , Deputy Prime Minister (above), on his visit to the idyllic Maldives

"I don't pay staff pounds 400 a week to overcook artichokes."

Gordon Ramsay, chef

"I don't want to make a career out of being Monica Lewinsky." Monica Lewinsky

"I'm not bothered if I win or lose. It must be my Quaker school upbringing."

Dame Judi Dench, actor

"I had a search on the Internet for a recipe for faggots and was offered The Lesbian, Bisexual and Gay News magazine." Jane Asher, actor and cake-maker

"I'm whiter than white."

Jacques Santer, the ex-President of the European Commission

"When some girls had their blazers on their skirts were so short you could not tell they had them on. This is not acceptable at a good school like this." Barbara O'Connor, headteacher of Dormston School