Spike Milligan (pictured) on Chris Evans, DJ
"A TV host asked my wife, `Have you ever considered divorce?' She replied: `Divorce never, murder often.'"
Charlton Heston, actor
"I am thinking of becoming a little more modern. I need to be a bit sharper - fewer Marks & Spencer sweaters."
Hugh Grant, actor
"I will still be singing and dancing when I'm 100. I just hope my wife can keep up."
Bruce Forsyth, television personality
"He's quite nice, Tony Blair, actually. But I think he's gone raving mad now."
Neil Tennant, pop star
"All that was left was one magnum of Moet. I don't believe it was left deliberately for me to drown my sorrows, more of an oversight."
Lord Marchwood, chairman of Moet Hennessy UK, following the theft of his wine