Quotes of the Week

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"It's nice to know that my family is safe for life, especially when we are going into a recession."

Marjorie Londine, William Hague's aunt, who has just won the National Lottery

"I do not go to see the girls. I am very fond of Peter, and sometimes I talk to the dancers about computers."

Terry Major-Ball, explaining his visits to Peter Stringfellow's night- club

"God is in Spaghetti Junction as much as

anywhere else."

Archdeacon John Barton, Birmingham Cathedral

"The actor I feel really close to is Charlie Chaplin, because I am on the same wavelength as him."

George Carey, Archbishop of Canterbury

"I can't believe Alun Michael is the Secretary of State for Wales. It's a triumph for mediocrity. I should know: he lives five doors from me."

Marc Cranfield-Adams, explaining why he has rejoined the Tories after defecting in 1995