Strange but False: Revealed: the awful untruth
Monday 22 March 1993
None of the above is true, but neither is the rest of this column, which is presented as an antidote to the overdose of factual information in the rest of the paper. We have included one true piece of information - revealed at the end.
1 When Sir Robert Walpole was invited to costume parties given by George II, he went dressed as a lizard. The king once asked him why and received the reply: 'To keep cool, your majesty.'
2 In a pidgin English dialect spoken in Western Samoa, the expression for 'Prime Minister' is Big-fella-live-Downing-Street-tell-Mrs-Queen-what-do. When Mrs Thatcher became Prime Minister, they changed it to Big-fella-lady-live-Downing-Street-tell-Mrs-Queen-what-do.
3 Lloyd George was the only Prime Minister to keep a goat at 10 Downing Street.
4 The goat is the only quadruped with an Adam's apple.
5 The world's first successful kidney transplant on a goat took place in 1976 in Tokyo zoo.
6 The first dog in Spain to be fitted with contact lenses was knocked down by a car and killed. The dog's name was Stan. It happened in Bilbao.
7 Under a law made during the 18th-century vegetable famines, it is still illegal in the Bilbao region to eat carrots between Tuesday and Friday.
8 According to Sir Walter Raleigh's History of the World, the anteater was allowed on Noah's ark on condition that it would not eat the ants. It promised to eat carrots instead and consequently survived the flood.
9 When Raleigh visited Greenland, he asked the natives what manner of waterproof seal-skin garb they were wearing. They replied 'Anorak' and the word came into English usage. 'Anorak', in the local Inuit dialect, means 'mind your own business'.
10 The Greenland huskie bitch is famed for its fecundity, one such animal producing 23 offspring from separate matings with three different dogs in three separate litters, all in 1873.
11 Strictly speaking, a female huskie should be called a hussie. The collective noun for huskies is a directorship.
The only true item, as far as we know, is no 6.
TV review Nick Hewer, the man whose eyebrows speak a thousand words, is set to leave The Apprentice
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
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Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
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