Television: Peter York On Ads No 288: Blackthorn Cider
The latest Blackthorn commercial is in the great tradition, but they've worked frantically to reflect Where Lads are Now. The answer, blow me down, is a little bit Lock, Stock, a little bit Reservoir Dogs (only a very little bit) and a little bit Friday night comedy zone.
The late-Nineties teenager is comfortable with the surreal, says the creative brief; he can deal with odd juxtapositions of celebrities, he can manage a bit of camp from an approved source like Julian Clary. Cider's got to be a modern inclusive drink with a bit of attitude and a touch of self-parody.
So, a council tower block. Zoom in and it's Sixties Brutalism with lots of stressed Horizontals. (Stressed Horizontals are easy shorthand for practically anything late 1990s). There's a man with binoculars and some actors chosen to look suitably Lock, Stock - meaning, as ever, deeply manly, profoundly tough and utterly cool for 15-year-olds.
But where to go?
"The T-bar on a Friday night in the height of summer?" asks one. (The T-bar's actually a new-style tea shop in Baker Street, but let it pass; they mean the K-bar and it's obviously Mission Impossible).
Out they troop - and that's the Reservoir Dogs bit - and on the way these bold fellows, utterly in touch with their modern surreal juxtaposed feelings, put on their masks. Not the traditional crim's stocking mask, not the Balaclava, but pics on sticks, black-and-white photographs of ingeniously cast celebrities, mounted on sticks, Perrier comedy style.
The natural bedfellows are Harry Hill, Vinnie Jones, Julian Clary and Chris Eubank. And so they blag their way into this stratospherically Now club. Lots of fun with Eubank's light lispy voice - "enter your establishment and partake of some beverages" - lots of fun with Clary's light campy one. People stare, bulbs flash (the Bar looks like the same set as last month's Mind Cooler spectacular).
It's the kind of place where they set up the Blackthorns. Top Form says the screen. The masks and the Eubank stuff may save it, but I suspect that if you're 15 you might still prefer to go once more round the block with Denise van Outen. But what do I know?
filmIn Black Seahe is as audiences have never seen him before
MusicThe band accidentally called Londoners the C-word
Film 'I've never been comfortable on-screen', she says
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Jennifer Lawrence scores first UK top 40 single with Hunger Games track 'The Hanging Tree'
- 2 Shia LaBeouf claims he was raped during #IAMSORRY art installation performance
- 3 'You should come to my house and eat cheeses with me': 4-year-old sends adorable love letter to girl at school
- 4 Scientists predict green energy revolution after incredible new graphene discoveries
- 5 Michael Buerk wishes he killed Jimmy Savile when he had the chance - by pushing him overboard a cruise ship
I'm A Celebrity 2014: Jungle security stepped up after murder and 'suspicious death' close to camp
Star Wars The Force Awakens trailer: What we know about JJ Abrams' film
Exodus Gods and Kings casting controversy: Ridley Scott would never cast 'Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such' in lead role
Jennifer Lawrence scores first UK top 40 single with Hunger Games track 'The Hanging Tree'
Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking Lana Del Rey rape video
Obama: The only people with the right to object to immigration are Native Americans
Ukip says babies born to immigrants in the UK should be classed as migrants – which would include Nigel Farage’s own children
The young are the new poor: Sharp increase in number of under-25s living in poverty, while over-65s are better off than ever
Tamir Rice: 12-year-old boy playing with fake gun dies after being shot by Ohio police
Ukip mocked after mistaking Westminster Cathedral – for a mosque
David Cameron sets out immigration reforms: We should distrust Ukip and their 'snake-oil of simple solutions'