Television: Peter York On Ads No 288: Blackthorn Cider
The latest Blackthorn commercial is in the great tradition, but they've worked frantically to reflect Where Lads are Now. The answer, blow me down, is a little bit Lock, Stock, a little bit Reservoir Dogs (only a very little bit) and a little bit Friday night comedy zone.
The late-Nineties teenager is comfortable with the surreal, says the creative brief; he can deal with odd juxtapositions of celebrities, he can manage a bit of camp from an approved source like Julian Clary. Cider's got to be a modern inclusive drink with a bit of attitude and a touch of self-parody.
So, a council tower block. Zoom in and it's Sixties Brutalism with lots of stressed Horizontals. (Stressed Horizontals are easy shorthand for practically anything late 1990s). There's a man with binoculars and some actors chosen to look suitably Lock, Stock - meaning, as ever, deeply manly, profoundly tough and utterly cool for 15-year-olds.
But where to go?
"The T-bar on a Friday night in the height of summer?" asks one. (The T-bar's actually a new-style tea shop in Baker Street, but let it pass; they mean the K-bar and it's obviously Mission Impossible).
Out they troop - and that's the Reservoir Dogs bit - and on the way these bold fellows, utterly in touch with their modern surreal juxtaposed feelings, put on their masks. Not the traditional crim's stocking mask, not the Balaclava, but pics on sticks, black-and-white photographs of ingeniously cast celebrities, mounted on sticks, Perrier comedy style.
The natural bedfellows are Harry Hill, Vinnie Jones, Julian Clary and Chris Eubank. And so they blag their way into this stratospherically Now club. Lots of fun with Eubank's light lispy voice - "enter your establishment and partake of some beverages" - lots of fun with Clary's light campy one. People stare, bulbs flash (the Bar looks like the same set as last month's Mind Cooler spectacular).
It's the kind of place where they set up the Blackthorns. Top Form says the screen. The masks and the Eubank stuff may save it, but I suspect that if you're 15 you might still prefer to go once more round the block with Denise van Outen. But what do I know?
Game of Thrones
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Caitlyn Jenner car crash: Driver who died in collision sued by surviving passengers for $18.5m
- 2 Pictures show young Palestinian girl biting Israeli soldier trying to detain boy during West Bank protests
- 3 Watch the Supermoon live: How to see the brightest Moon of the year tonight
- 4 Hulk Hogan wants to be Donald Trump's running mate in the US Presidential election
- 5 Blood Moon and Supermoon: September to bring brightest – and dimmest – full Moon of the year on same night
Game of Thrones season 6: Jon Snow theorists believe Ned Stark's son may have a twin sister
Edinburgh Fringe 2015: Monty Python-inspired Australian Sam Simmons wins comedy award with 'very silly' show
Game of Thrones season 6: Director promises most exciting premiere yet 'starts off with a bang'
Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Online toy marathon to launch new film
Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet: Technician quits after social media row with actor's fans
Climate change: 2015 will be the hottest year on record 'by a mile', experts say
'Women only' train carriages: Jeremy Corbyn unveils radical move to tackle public harassment
Black holes are a passage to another universe, says Stephen Hawking
Iain Duncan Smith 'should resign over disability benefit death figures', says Jeremy Corbyn
Stock up on canned food for stock market crash, warns former Gordon Brown adviser
Labour leadership: Jeremy Corbyn voters most likely to believe 'world is controlled by a secretive elite'