The Great Woodstock Disaster of 1999; Lyric Sheets

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The Independent Culture
Unlike the original Woodstock 30 years ago, the vastly overpriced Woodstock '99 ended

in mayhem last weekend. Police were needed when part of the 250,000-strong crowd torched the stage, looted merchandise stalls and fought with each other

'Twas in the year of 1969 round August or September.

But no one who was there can accurately remember

A great pop festival was held somewhere in the USA

Which loads of people attended, though most didn't pay.

Half a million hippies went, to be more or less precise

Even though it rained and the toilets weren't particularly nice.

This was long before the days of U2, Bjork or Prince

But everyone has been blathering on about it ever since

Things they used to say included: "Far out maan, or "Woah-bummer."

The elderly still use these gems at Stonehenge in summer.

Your divorced hippie aunt may reminisce about it over tea

But that's because she's still a bit in love with Alvin Lee

Alvin Lee was Ten Years After's handsome guitarist, by the way

And acquitted himself much better than many other stars did on the day.

By playing, instead of talking, which sometimes can impinge

Unlike John Sebastian, whose waffle still makes you cringe

They showed the film in Britain later, usually in a flea-pit

And tons of people in flares and beards shuffled in to see it

Anyway where was I? Oh yeah - three people left with babies

But most contented themselves by leaving with galloping squits or scabies

A salient Woodstock anthem was that Joni Mitchell one

Which even now can make me want to reach for a gun

In spite of this, the footage still makes for entertaining viewing

Especially in the light of what its subjects now are doing

That man for instance, blissed-out in muddy meditation.

Will soon become director of some computer corporation

But it's cheap to laugh at such idealistic young libertarians

Especially since so many later became teachers or librarians.

In fact a lot of people thought that Woodstock was such fun

That 30 years down the road they tried to hold another one

No small surprise it cost a bomb, but then what did they expect?

And upon this occasion 'twas the site not just the people who got wrecked.