The information Daily: New Films
Friday 10 December 1999
Director: Peter Greenaway
Starring: John Standing, Matthew Delamere
Mourning the death of his wife, Standing's businessman undergoes an unorthodox spot of bereavement therapy when he and his son usher a Noah's Ark set of concubines into their plush Geneva harem. Unfortunately, Greenaway's anaesthetised examination of sex and death falls prey to the director's worst vices. Beautiful, but dead.
West End: Curzon Soho, Odeon Camden Town, Ritzy Cinema
END OF DAYS (18, 110 mins)
Director: Peter Hyams
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne
The plot of the elephantine End of Days runs something like this: Byrne's horny little Devil chases Robin Tunney's luvverly lady through end-of- the-century Gotham. Schwarzenegger's brawny Sir Galahad plays harassed chaperone. We get flaming clouds, machine-guns and garbled Biblical theorising. A revelation: Arnie blubbers over the fate of his wife and kiddie. A travesty: Arnie becomes a Christ figure who saves our souls. "Please God, gimme strength," the wooden one mutters at the end. Our sentiments exactly.
West End: Odeon Camden Town, Odeon Kensington, Odeon Marble Arch, Odeon West End, UCI Whiteleys, Virgin Chelsea And local cinemas
THE FIVE SENSES (15, 101 mins)
Director: Jeremy Podeswa
Starring: Mary-Louise Parker, Pascale Bussieres
Five characters, five senses (touch, taste, etc) and one apartment building. One director moving between five interlocking stories, rustling up one decent Canadian art-movie of delicate plotting, oblique playing and simmering emotional fire.
West End: Curzon Soho, Curzon Minema
THE LAST YELLOW (15, 93 mins)
Director: Julian Farino
Starring: Mark Addy, Charlie Creed-Miles
Farino's kitchen-sink crime caper dispatches two bumbling Leicester losers (Addy, Creed-Miles) to London on a mission of vengeance, sees them holed up in a cramped flat with a feisty hostage (Samantha Morton). Addy has a mullet and a Hawaiian shirt and Creed-Miles looks like he's been heavily influenced by Tim Roth's nerd icon from Mean Time. Morton sits tied to a chair with a T-shirt pulled over her head.
West End: Virgin Haymarket
THE LIMEY (18, 89 mins)
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Starring: Terence Stamp, Peter Fonda
See The Independent Recommends, right.
West End: ABC Tottenham Court Road, Barbican Screen, Chelsea Cinema, Clapham Picture House, Odeon Swiss Cottage, Ritzy Cinema, Screen on the Green, UCI Whiteleys, Virgin Fulham Road, Warner Village West End Repertory: Phoenix Cinema Local: Richmond Odeon Studio
THE MUSE (PG, 96 mins)
Director: Albert Brooks
Starring: Albert Brooks, Sharon Stone
This bright, bantamweight satire has Brooks (the film's writer-director- star) as a Hollywood also-ran, whose fortunes take a dramatic upswing when he starts courting Stone's bratty and demanding Muse (turns out that she's a daughter of Zeus). Brooks's droll, hangdog appearance sets the tone nicely, while a clutch of cameos (James Cameron, Martin Scorsese) add to the fun.
West End: Virgin Trocadero, Warner Village West End Local: Edmonton Lee Valley UCI 12, Feltham Cineworld The Movies, Newham Showcase
TV review Nick Hewer, the man whose eyebrows speak a thousand words, is set to leave The Apprentice
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Peter Lik: The self-proclaimed 'fine-art photographer' whose work sells for millions
The best underrated Christmas movies from Love, Actually to While You Were Sleeping
Grace Dent on TV: The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies was a beautifully shot, immensely considered drama
The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies, review: Jason Watkins is brilliant, but real victim Joanna Yeates is reduced to a footnote
Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking Lana Del Rey rape video
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre
Sony hack: Angelina Jolie branded 'seriously out of her mind' in further embarrassing leaked email saga
Panic Saturday: 13 million Britons spend £1.2bn – while 13 million others across the country live in poverty unable to afford food