The Weekly Muse

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The Independent Culture
A squirrel-quarrel on the bough -

They tumble off together now,

Victor and vanquished, down they go

Deep in a drift of hawthorn snow.

A district quakes. A kraken wakes

Of late, which takes to English lakes.

It's three feet long and goes for pikes.

The Midlands "alligator" strikes

This week at Sandwell Valley Park

While rangers languished in the dark.

"A salamander of some sort"

Is what the wildlife experts thought,

But since it's not the Black Lagoon

They hope to catch the creature soon,

As people at their water sport

Run certain risks until it's caught.

Long holidays? The teachers fight

Of course, and absolutely right.

They need that six weeks as a hedge

To stop them sliding off the edge.

The latest scheme's result-geared pay

And now some prat pops up to say,

"Let's cut their summer holiday"

A coda for this roundelay.

Meanwhile Witchfinder Woodhead stalls;

A whole profession hopes he falls.

I use his word: the news may be

Quite "educative"? Possibly.

The Sun, I swear this is the truth,

Reprinted "Anthem for Doomed Youth"

And Wilfred Owen, pictured there

Beside the poem - his haunted stare.

They ran it huge - forget what page,

Your poet had fainted by that stage.

The time when we may tour the stars

Reported to be coming soon.

We'll book a weightless wedding day

Then honeyearth upon the moon.

It's slightly pricey as it goes,

At round about five hundred K;

Though men who spend that kind of loot

Might not be in a rush to stray.

A Space-Groom for an Astronette

By 2025, they think.

I wouldn't rush to place a bet

Before you check that rail-link.

The future's hardly ever late,

But trains? They're hard to estimate.

Birthday this week: Kofi Annan,

Who's sixty-one. Tough gig, top man.

Great product, peace. So hard to sell...

Kofi Annan, I wish you well.