To coax the bluebells from the brake
But sharper still the north-east wind
To make the sinus click and ache.
A skirmish on the bird table,
The Tory sparrows slap and fight.
A fiercer starling steals the scrap
And flies it back towards the right.
At this a great commotion comes,
A twittering and beat of wings
And all the while an older bird
Sits on her perch and watches things.
A muffled squawk the Maggie makes,
With bandage tied around her beak,
To see the flock abandoning
Her tried and trusted kill technique.
And of her old lieutenants, one
Throws caution to the sky,
Making mention in his memoirs
Of a certain "drink-fuelled high"
Where the Leaderene was woozy
After drinking much at dinner.
This is bound to ruffle feathers
When the book is deemed a winner.
But though Mr Walden's memoirs
May delight one sore old sailor
He should book a plastic surgeon
And a trip to Venezuela.
Now half of us are overweight,
With one in five classed as obese.
We follow the United States
Then wonder why our girths increase.
But burger, vid and motorcar
In only fifteen years or so
Have brought a portlier populace
Than post-war Britain used to know.
And yet the sportswear sales go up
And bars are full of girls and chaps
Who wear go-faster stripes with pride
On barstools braced against collapse.
"Bordeaux Prolongs An Active Life":
A headline like the dog food ad.
Perhaps you pour it in a bowl
And feed it to your mum and dad?
Well, no, although in my own case
The gesture may not go amiss.
Apparently the wine provides
And helps reduce constriction
Caused by platelet aggregation.
With the blessing of my doctor, then,
It's time for a libation.Reuse content